My top 5 favorite things about running.

After my less than glowing report about the Old Port Half I decided it was time to write about the things I love, love, LOVE about running. (because when it comes down to it, I might not love certain races- or every run- but those things don't take away from the fact that running and I are good friends.)

I'm a little fickle when it comes to naming my top favorites about running. I like a lot of things about it! (minus the excessive sweating, pain, agony,vomiting, and things of that nature.)

I goes without saying that I enjoy running. I've stuck with it thru thick and thin for several years now, I've pushed thru injuries, figured how to get a little faster, and have managed to make multi hour efforts somewhat entertaining.

So in 2013 what makes the list for my top 5 favorite things?

This has to do with running as a whole, not gear related. That could be a WHOLE other post, jeesh!

 

Pretty things!
I'm lucky to live in a beautiful place.
I honestly have enjoyed seeing many parts of my town, state and New England from a runners vantage point. Basically, I'm a sucker for a good view.
 

My amazing running outfits, DUH.
I love my duds. Period. The attire makes it fun!
(get new gear when you meet a running goal. very motivational!)

Fun people!
Not just Eric. Although he is very fun!
I have met some amazing friends thru running and think runners are good people.
Running is also a great way to spend quality time with friends (and healthier than drinking beers....)
 

Talking people into making many bad excellent choices!!!
Want to run a race tomorrow? Get there at 5:00 AM (ugh!)
Want to run a half marathon with all of us cool kids? You DO!!!?? YAYYY!
I LOVE how many of my friends have drank the cool aid. Whether it's a first time 5-K or Half Marathon it is exciting to see people get pumped about all things running. It makes my heart all warm and fuzzy.

The number one thing I love about running?
Tangible results.
You work hard, follow your plan and don't make excuses? You will see results.
No matter if you are a complete beginner or a top dog in the sport this is true. You aren't going to randomly bomb (or, randomly run 10 minutes faster than you expect) if you are training in a reasonable, consistent and challenging way.
There are no shortcuts. But becoming a better runner is something that anyone can do with a bit of effort, determination and dedication. And it is completely worth it because there is no better feeling than snagging a PR, setting a personal distance record or discovering you are strong enough to do things you never thought possible.

Daily mile madness. Countdown to 16 miler madness.

Oh man..... I have jumped on the Daily Mile bandwagon 1,324 years late.
Please friend me! Kinda lonely out there right now...
My Daily Mile

So. Last week's PLAN called for not much of anything and that's exactly what happened. I had 10 cousins up to visit for the better part of the week, some VERY icky weather and (to be honest) I knew that at this point in my training cycle a light week would be awesome-o.

Sunday- 3 crappy treadmill miles. The Dreadmill and I have not yet become pals...

Monday- 8.1 miles at 8:41. The road was all covered with snow so that wasn't easy but it was fun.

ANNNNNNNNND... Saturday! 4 Dreadmill miles which were not bad at all due to True Blood Season 3 Episode 1. Thank you very much....

So far this week I have pounded out 12.1 at an 8:30 pace. MUCH faster than I had planned on going but my legs were in GREAT shape thanks to lazy week so it was excellent. The road was SUPER icy, it was warm (41... so odd!) I did hills, dirt roads, you name it it was there to kick my ass. At mile 8 there was a car accident (nobody was hurt, thank heavens) but I stopped for a few to chat up my hay guy who was all firemanned out on the fricking street corner. Gotta love my town and my friends! It was a touch hard to get back into the swing of things but I did. (I had been running at an 8:20 pace- so as you can see I slowed down.) Regardless. I was glad to not suffer any bodily harm on this run and except for the last mile which was intensely zombie like I felt just fine.

Yesterday, knowing that we were about to head into some crap cold weather I snuck out for a 6.2 mile recovery run at the arduous recovery pace of 9:13. I had planned on 9:30-9:45 so, as you can see, I clearly rocked this out. URGH!!

Next week I start a semi-taper leading up to my indoor half on the 14th. Looking forward to booking it around a track 66 times! No idea how that's going to work out for me but my goal is to NOT. PUSH. IT!!!! I have a week to recover after that before I hit the hills of NH for a brutal 16 miler. Again, not so sure how that is going to work out but what could happen? It will be fine and a solid adventure.

THE HILL.

There is this hill in my town which is such a monster that it is even a pain in the butt to drive up. I can barely manage more than a shuffle when I run up it (I avoid it. It is avoidable and really, is just ridiculous.)

I have been curious about what kind of incline this hill provides as it seems FAR and beyond the acceptable norm. I finally have an answer.

TWENTY PERCENT.

Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

In which we discover that I can outrun the long arm of the law....

Oh. Hello BLIZZARD! Thought/hoped you might be a big bad April fools joke. Guess we know who the fools are now....

I am having a challenging time picturing myself running my planned itty-bitty 3 miler in this shiz. I expect that I would be run over by a snowplow, lost in a whiteout or hit by a car and lost forever in one of the still towering snowbanks. I'm not in a good mood about this storm. The grouch is threatening to overtake my usually oh-so sunshiney nature.

Since running seems to be on the bottom of the to-do list (half marathon, you go run yourself will ya??!!) I'll venture off on a tangent.

I ran (umm, drove) out yesterday evening (with the rest of the free world, all whipped up into a pre storm frenzy of hysteria. sigh.) to do some stupid errands.. I was getting em' done! Makin' the headway! Avoiding almost everyone I know to prevent chit-chatting delays (and I was straight from the barn. hat on head, nasty ski pants on, stinky sweatshirt firmly in place. I know I'm a stone cold fox, I can go out any way I damn please and turn heads... because people are freaked out/disgusted! hahah.)

ANYWAY. I like to multi task when I'm out and about so I was driving from point A to B while returning a phone call. I was driving at 0.2 miles per hour to adhere to traffic laws when suddenly I saw a Cop sneak up behind me. "Uh OH!" I exclaimed to the person on the other end (my Hay guy, calling me about the logic and reason of having a street sign put up on my veryvery long driveway for 911 purposes. Bet y'all didn't know that Hay guys are also the 911 guys? So confusing...) In my head I was ready to give Mr. Hay Guy full responsibility if I had done something to attract attention from a cop. I enjoy passing the buck, avoiding blame/responsibility and so forth. But I digress... I flung the phone aside, thinking hard about what sorts of traffic violation I could have made when sure enough the blue lights went on. Frantically, I looked at myself in the vanity mirror and discovered that flirting my way out of anything would be challenging in my condition- which was messy. Damnit!

I stopped. He stopped. I was confused. Mr. Cop got out of his car and kinda.....skulked all around my car for a minute. "WHAT did I DO??" I shouted, smoothly, out the window. "Well... I thought you had a plate light out... but you don't." Oh.KAY?? "do you currently have a warrant out for your arrest?" He arbitrarily asked. "Ah. about that..." (NO!) Just kidding, I was obviously like, NO! WTF? He took my licence and said "well, this is embarrassing. BUT look! Your inspection has expired!" **sigh** Having no womanly charm to fall back on I was relieved that he simply gestured for me to leave, and off I went.

The HELL??

I should be fully invisible in the granny like Corolla that I drive but this is not the first time that I have been pulled over for nothing! GAHD! I was amused and perplexed. It was very April Fools like- but a day early. My feeling was that once again- the bizarre had struck its favorite target. ME.

I was thinking that my Hay Guy was really going to take the piss out of me for being such a hardened criminal when I finally called him back to continue our (slightly bizarre- big shock there) conversation about the 911 capabilities in my town. (Which clearly are not as good as the 911 capabilities in the town I got pulled over in, since they saw my delinquent self driving around and really got on the hop.) However, at this point most of the people in my life are so used to me coming up on the wrong side of the law that this was like, old news.. no big deal! (kidding. I'm a model citizen.)

So. Avoiding arrest, handcuffing, booking or at the very least a warning for an overdue inspection sticker was a good way to finish up my day. Sigh...

The Hills. Need I say more?

As many of you have probably noticed I often complain loudly about the fact that I can not run any distance in my town without encountering a few pesky hills. while I'm sure that those of you who live in Vermont, for example, encounter much worse than this my feeling is that I am forced to do some solid hill work on the regular.

Or, perhaps I am just a whiny little weenie? I ask you to be the judge of that..

For your consideration, just a few of the local speed bumps.

See above for the hill that is honestly referred to AS the "speed bump." There is no avoiding this hill and it has become small enough not to even register in my brain. It is a real bitch at the end of 10 plus miles though, not gonna lie here....

OK! So, if you get to this point you have already climbed up a small mountain. On this route there are 3 hills this size plus the infamous speed bump (really, you can't avoid it.)

What you don't realize about this little hill is that there is a hill on the side of this hill. You can almost see it between the first two phone poles. The picture does not do it justice- this hill means business. Come to visit me and the bumps in the road will kick you in the face!

That is just a small sampling of what my town has to offer in the incline department. Go ahead, tell me I'm wimpy to fuss about having to scale those beasts on a daily basis, I can take it!

I feel that I should put out a "beat my hill" challenge. Email me pics of your mountainous nemesis perhaps and I can create a "my hill vs your hill" challenge! (maybe I'll rename this post "Ways to have fun with your hills" or "this is your brain on incline" or something of the sort...)

The run of torment...

I'm back!

Before I departed on the trip that lasted an eternity I took a large chunk of my Saturday and ran all the way across my town.

I had contemplated hitting up the gym for my long run but the much improved weather and slightly better road conditions changed my mind for me. I gave some thought about which direction I should travel in to avoid the worst of the hills. Bottom line, there was not a single route that I could design that was anything close to flat. **damnit!**

Throwing caution to the wind I headed out the door, fueled by pretzels and bravery/insanity. It was by far the warmest day that we had seen in quite some time, I think the thermometer might have hit a scorching 42 degrees at the height of the day. Very decent running weather in my opinion.... The first 5 miles were tolerable, if you call climbing Mt Everest while dodging huge puddles and periodically loosing your footing in sink holes tolerable... I knew that 10 miles was an ambitious goal under the conditions that I was dealing with but my basic feeling was that it could be done with a minimum of swearing and agony.

I wouldn't say I was completely correct!

As hilly as the first 5 miles were they were basically flat compared to the final 5. By mile 7.5 or so I was being troubled by my pesky hip flexor- it is really becoming a terrible nuisance to me! I was covered in mud and my feet were completely soaked and I could feel them becoming more pruney with each passing step. By mile 8.5 I was starting to drop the eff bomb on the regular due to the ever increasing incline, my drenched feet and the traffic that kept almost running me off the fricking road.

My sneaky rage spiral came to a head when with at mile 9 that STUPID local dog (who I have had encounters with before) came bursting out of the woodd scaring the bejeebus out of me and refusing (as usual) to go home or allow capture. That dog is my nemesis and I have extreme dislike for the fact that he is allowed to run rampant on the town with no collar or tags. We were well over a mile from his home and I had zero interest in backtracking that far to tell his negligent parents that their naughty yellow child was about to become road kill. I got a large number of dirty looks and unhelpful comments from passing cars as they advised me to put my dog on a leash. No s**t yo, he isn't my dog!

After laboring, sweating and cursing violently while hopping on one leg for the final stretch of my run (with the dog yapping and circling me in a most annoying manner) I finally made it home. Thinking that I would catch the idiot canine, throw it in my car and return him to his home was good in theory but not in practice. Fully wound up he refused capture and continued to prance around like a chicken on crack. I felt murderous... So I called animal control and had them take him away. (now, before you all get wound up know that this is a small town and the dog catcher knew who he was and returned him home. I knew that would happen. I'm not an asshat I swear!)

I must say that for a variety of reasons that was hands DOWN the hardest run I have ever done. If I was gearing up for my first half I think I might be a touch freaked out to be honest! However- 10 miles on my roads in much more impossible then 13.1 on relatively flat surfaces.

Anyway! I survived. The dog survived (miraculously!) and after a couple days off I'm ready to test out the old legs again. We'll see how it goes...

Another exciting week in my world...

Another week almost over!

The weather has been persnickety, typical for the Northeast at this time of year but not particularly desirable for much of anything that pertains to life.

Despite the delightful and never ending deluge of snow/sleet/rain/all of the above mixed with any of the above I managed to get in a couple decent workouts.

Tuesday I donned the dreadful Easter Egg like outfit and hit the surprisingly dry roads for a quick little 3 miler. No problems on this run, 3 miles seems to be easy for my still recovering left hip flexor (stupid thing...)

Wednesday I discovered that my normal 6 mile route was more or less under a floodplain, which had turned into a skating rink of terror. A trek across that would be sure to lead to a broken hip, concussion, or significant blood loss for for yours truly... Yes, my coordination is well known across the countryside. After a bit of consideration I settled upon running back to my house after executing a hay collection errand on the other side of the infamous hill. I don't think that many people appreciate the magnitude of hills in my little town, they really provide a certain element of excitement/horror that a treadmill is not capable of. While the route I chose bypassed the worst of them it still left me with a series of rolling and somewhat icy and still occasionally steep terrain. A definite challenge to my slightly shredded hip flexor.... Not sure if it was the constant incline, the inability to freely move my left leg after mile 3 or the occasional (read: constant) need to prance across icy death cookies but I was feeling a touch whipped before I reached the end. Not "OMG I'm going to stop, die, vomit and drop the eff bomb" whipped but plain old sucky "that kicked my trash" whipped. Not my best effort but a solid 6.2 of HILLS at a decent pace.

Thursday was a "rest" day- I had planned it and the ultra rotten weather confirmed that I had chosen the correct day to stay off the roads. Of course, the weather continues to labor along in a rather offensive manner which might spell trouble for my sprint to the gym later today... But we'll see, where I live if you don't like the weather this minute it will give you something else (unpleasant) the next minute... Delightfully diabolical!

My Fashion: Part THREE!

I am such a trendsetter, both in the blogosphere and the fashion world.
All together now: HA. HA. HAHHHHHHAHA.

I think a fab new thing to do with our blogs should be something like this: Fashion Fail Friday? Wise Words Wednesday? Oh Hell I'm So Sassy Saturday?

Until I figure out what the next big thing on the interwebs will be I'll leave you with this gem. As my running outfits continue to veer towards the absurd I feel the need to get my Mom's reaction towards them. It is a great boost for my ego and delightfully amusing.

"How do I look TODAY?" I shouted at her, detouring from my run to find her in her house.

What did she say?

"VILE. Just VILE. Like some kind of crazy Easter Egg.... the neighbours are going to call me to complain, I hope that most of them are still at work...."

I was oh so offended at her harsh assessment of my gorgeous self.....

Returning to Reality

After the drama and intrigue of my last post I am unsure of my ability to create such a buzz today...
Thanks for all the comments, and for a slew of emails that I got as well! As tempting as it is to throw Captain Asshat and his Gym of Discrimination under a bus I'm going to take the classy road and leave him and his disgraceful "business" well enough alone. Obviously I told all of my closest friends, the Internet and might have mentioned it to a few people who have been known to talk a lot in public... But really, I am a nice lady and have no plans get all lawerly on him.

(I do enjoy that I have just claimed to be classy yet have no intention of washing my hair or putting on makeup today. Thank heavens that I am blessed with such epic natural beauty and can get away with such things.)

Anyway! After leaving The Gym Of Stupidity in complete consternation I somehow managed to lay the smack down on a 3 miler. I killed the thing- somehow pulled it off in 22 minutes which is truly peculiar since I haven't been throwing down the numbers in my speed work lately. I am certain that I was able to execute this fabulous fleet footed feat (oh snap!) because I was a touch pissed off. Better to take it out on the road, correct?

Yesterday I went back to The Gym That Welcomes Me With Open Arms. I felt as though I entered the building in a way that made it obvious that I had been trying to cheat on them. I had... The face of an adulterous? Luckily there was nobody there to see me do the walk of shame, or to hear my confessions of transgressions.
I did some particularly restrained mile repeats. My hip flexor wasn't flexing in a pleasant manner so I was a bit more careful than I would have liked to be. I did 5 miles, 3 repeats in 8:41 (suck-a-rama) 8:20 (wouldn't want to try to hard, would I?) and 7:53 (a bit better.)

Hit the road in my very best garb today in an attempt to frighten the people in my town. I said to my Mom as I was leaving, that I thought I looked rather well put together, all things being taken into consideration. She disagreed. My Mom... She always knows what to say!
Her words: "Well.... Nobody will try to rape you!" AHAHAHAH. HAHAHA! HA!.... Well, I certainly don't want to be thrown into a windowless van of terror so I simply couldn't see what was so bad?! Once I got past my non-rape-ability hysterics I managed to terrorise about half of my town (why was everybody out on the road? to see me? in pink fleeced horror garb??) and did 6 miles of hills and doom on legs that kept whining like little bitches. It was a pretty good run though, with no rape- thank goodness!

Weekly Recap, once again

Ahhhh, another week has gone by.
I must say, this countdown to my half is going by very fast. Worryingly fast. Where in the hell is the time going????
I managed to get in the required weekly mileage- 25- by the freaking skin of my teeth (a saying that I have always found odd at best, as my teeth have no skin. really now...) The weather was tumultuous once again, dumping down snow and a fistfull of chaos. Thank you My Town for doing such a heinous job plowing the roads that the Corolla can barely creep along, and my dreams of running outdoors will have to wait until July. Bah! Humbug!
Despite the ghastly weather, the ornery road conditions and a persnickety twinge in my lower back from the shoveling I have had to do, things still went fine in the running department this week. I'm only hyperventilating a tiny bit now that I'm in the one month countdown....

This week:
Sunday- The Big 10 1:25:00 for a respectable pace of 8:30

Monday- I think that must have been my 4 miles of treadmill mountains. 38:00
Oh, and 10 minutes on the stupid stationary bike to cool off, or something.

Tuesday- 6 miles, mile repeats. Decent. I won't break it down for ya, since I already did earlier this week. 53:00

Wednesday- 30 min stationary bike- on some workout called "Insanity Hills" That was no lie.
15 minutes on the elliptical. I hate that thing.

Thursday/Friday- Blizzaster

Saturday- 5 miles, 40:40 for a pace of 8:08. Decent since I kicked in a bunch of hill climbs around 4-6 incline.

So another week down and not too many more to go. I'm supposed to knock out an 11 miler tomorrow, and on the treddy it will be since the top temp here is supposed to be about 0. I'm wishing for Spring in a big way...

Top 10 for 2010

After days of proving to all of you that I can do whatever I want with my blog (as in, ramble on about my dog and the weather) I'm finally back on track with a post about real running. Or whatever it is that I do- real SLOW running? (real FAST walking?) Whatev, you're all jealous of my uber speedy marathon time. (as in: average 5K. Again, WHATEV!) HA!

My Top Ten Best/Funny/Fab running moments from 2010:
Cos I'm the Letterman of the interwebs (and (ahem) so original.)

10-Being able to see most of my town from a whole different point of view. I live in a beautiful place and running around has made me appreciate where I live more than I already did. (awwww! how sappy!!)

9- My Epic Comeback at the October race. 2 runs after the shin splint fiasco and BOOM! PR. It's only because the Infamous Coaching Staff was threatening to leave me there if I didn't hurry back to get them out of the FREEZING weather!

8- The 4 on the 4Th where it occurred to me NOT to run like an idiot! This was a startling revelation, and was a few races in the making (hey, better late than never suckers!)

7- My first race, running like a complete idiot and living to tell the tale.

6- Finally getting back out on the road after a million weeks off from the shin splint of doom. That was a good feeling!!

5- Running in the downpour over July 4Th weekend. Having strangers offer me rides home and saying "sorry, I don't get into cars with strangers" like I was in 1st grade... But still, you never know!

4- The helpful local Fast Yellow dog, running with me in an unauthorized way last week. Me: "Go home you **##@@**" Dog!!!" Him: "I love you temporarily! You can be my master!!!" Me: "No, just.... No."

3- The kid with the bow staff, fighting "his imagination" as I ran by. One of the best roadside things that I have ever seen. You really had to be there...

2- "Run Fatty, run!" Shouted from a passing car over Memorial Day weekend. Tourists! Gosh!

1- Taunting the guy in front of me during a July race "I'm gonna get you MISTER!!!" then having him nearly kick my ass. Made for an epic finish line photo shoot.

1- TIE! (Because I can) My comments on my active trainer excercise log. Gems like this after a good run after a short hiatus make me smirk and giggle: "Because after 9 days off, 67,987 calories of pudding, lobster, tequila, crab dip, and mud pie WHY THE FRICK NOT.
And I kicked ass." HAHA. Once more proving that I am pretty awesome... Clearly!

Clearly, 2010 was a year of great success and competitive mastery. Hmmmm. At the very least it was most certainly a year where trying something new (running, duh) proved to be both entertaining and exhilarating. (for the most part. )

Stay tuned for the top 10 EPIC FAILS of 2010. That will be a good list for sure!

Dogs. Big life metaphors. Sarcasm. The Road.

One of my clients asked me the other day "So, What do you like BEST about running?" I expect that she was looking for an answer like this: The endorphins! The fitness gains! The epic speed! The magic and pageantry!

What she got?

"My favorite part is running back up my driveway and BEING DONE!!!!!"

Not gonna lie friends, she looked just a tad bit crushed. Feeling a little guilty I expanded upon my gloomy answer to include things like the obvious fact that I feel like superwoman when I'm done (even though I cuss the whole way around the lake) that I appreciate the clear cut way that races are won or lost (ummm, you were slow today so you lost. no mystery there!) and that I enjoy seeing my town from a runners perspective (road trash not included.)

After being in the gym all last week I was especially glad to see my town from the infamous runners perspective for the past couple of days. Running on the road is so much better than running on a treadmill, there is just no comparison. It's silly and foolish to call it the same thing (no offence treadmill lovers, they have their place as I have discovered.) Out on the road I appreciate that I am getting somewhere and that I have a clear visual that I actually AM (A life metaphor! How touching!) I like to feel all the road crap under my feet (little rocks. Sand. Salt chunks from the last storm. pine needles. and occasionally actual crap, thanks local dogs.) I just prefer the whole experience... Until the temps drop into the single digits!

Backtracking a bit.. Speaking of local dogs... Yesterday I was out and about when ZOOM out of the woods busted a stupid yellow dog. Not my stupid yellow dog, he stays home because he is a slow mother effer. (love him!!) Anywho, fast yellow dog scared the bejeebers out of me by leaping out of the woods like a monster and then refused to allow me to catch him and bring him back to safety. Well, fine... Run with me and get hit by an oncoming dump truck. I was most upset by this notion but despite my best efforts I could not get close enough to the little pest to capture him and attempt to return him to his home. He continued to run about 3 miles with me, darting in and out of traffic, giving me a massive coronary and overall being a huge jackass of an idiot and refusing to allow me to catch him (he didn't have a collar so the capture was rather challenging. awesome dog ownership skillzzzz..) We finally made it back to the approximate place that he had found me and I then tried to return him to the correct house, which took several tries. When I finally found his Dad he seemed blissfully unconcerned that his dog had been missing for a while and had just run rampant on our local "numbered highway" with me. "Yeah...." he drawled "He likes to run...." "He likes to get hit by cars!" I countered. "Nahhhhh" said the Dog's Dad "He always comes home in the end." WHAT. EVER. Off I went, shaking my head.

The great thing about having an idiot dog to run with is I put in a DAMN fast 3 miles because I was trying to catch him! Just a touch over 21 minutes- which is pretty kickass for me. The whole 5 miler that I did was quite speedy due to my microburst of dog chasing power. Maybe I should ask the dumb yellow dog to run with me everyday!

Things I see while running in my town. Part 2.

As you may have already noticed I tend to be exceptionally observant while on my runs.

I like to think that this is because of my quirky and inquisitive nature and not that I am being lazy and taking time to smell the proverbial roses.....

(and yes, I did post a couple months ago about the various bits of trash that I noticed. Needless to say, they were hard to miss...)

Lately I have been noticing more in the way of activities, or scary objects and slightly less rubbish in the ditch.

Today's Stories:
THE RAPE VAN
Oh alright, you and I both know that it is most likely a van for a roofing contractor or similar but something about the windowless double back doorness of it just screams Silence of The Lambs. Did I just date myself? Perhaps... However, I avoid this van in the same way that I avoid cholera. I will run completely off the road, up a hill into the puckerbrush and thru the swamp to avoid getting close enough to this vehicle to be snatched, thrown in a well and told "it rubs the lotion on its skin... Jeepers, so scary! I am waiting for the day when this van leaves town so that I can run a straight line down the road again. Until then, no amount of logic and reason will cause me to run any closer to it than is absolutely required by the lay of the land. Kthanxbye.

THE STREET FIGHTER
I live in a town where crime is a rare thing. I have never heard of the cops having to come around and break up a gang of street fighters, or much else to be honest.
You can imagine my surprise when I came running around a corner one day and heard the distinct sounds of some kind of battle being waged just out of my line of vision. As I neared the scene of the crime there was no doubt about it: somebody was getting his arse kicked... I was having visions of myself having to pull off a heroic rescue (or, running for my life while calling 911) Then..... The perps came into my vision. And there he was, one boy of about 13 years old violently beating with a bow stall his enemy: HIS IMAGINATION!
Creeping to a crawl I looked at him, agape. Unimpressed by my curiosity said boy continued his quest to take down his imaginary foe, grunting, sweating and swinging his staff wildly around.
I thought to suggest that he take his Dungeons and Dragons to the backyard, perhaps slightly off the street but chose to keep my words inside and to quietly enjoy the spectacle....

Just one more reason (and a less scary one that the Rape Van) that running in my town is always a fun adventure...

Fall Foliage 5K update. OR: My Epic Comeback

I won't come right out and admit to it but I may have been toddling around my house for a few minutes on Saturday morning gloomily moaning about my upcoming race FAIL. Clearly tired of hearing my bellyaching my Huz said to me, with irritating and completely unreasonable logic "Really, if you think this is going to be such a mess why don't you just STAY HOME???" Looking at him in complete disgust I replied that that certainly did not make any sense, who would do such a thing?!, and that was not how I operated thank you very much!! (which he knows. but the man can only take so much of my agonizing before he can't take it any more.)

As is the norm around here my Huz and Dad accompanied me to the start of this (now infamous) race. They are a highly skilled, not to mention highly paid coaching team. The helpful words that come out of their mouths are priceless and without them I might not know to "Run fast because it's cold and we're going to leave without you..." Or "Hurry back so we can drink a beer." (wiser words were never spoken.)

Despite my dubious level of fitness and my firm conviction that the race was going to be pure embarrassment I felt better as soon as I took off my 145,000 layers and headed to the start. I lie, in reality I felt freezing, slightly horrified and concerned that my butt was going to sustain serious frostbite, or at the very least some serious muscular pain. I digress.....

I had a good start with none of the ipod or shoelace issues that I had been bothered with earlier in the year. A bunch of boys took off for the front and since I don't bother chasing people who run a 5 minute mile I trudged along and set a decent pace for my freezing self.

It was a fairly flat course, with a medium sized speed bump around mile 1.5 Since I regularly trained on the icy and oxygen deprived slopes of Mt Kanchenjunga this summer this hill was no big deal, even in my current flabster condition. It did get the best of quite a few runners though so at this point I was able to start passing people. Which I like. Since it was an out and back course I was able to see the competition heading back to the finish like as I heaved past the first 0.1 mile marker (noooo, it wasn't that bad.) This was the point that I discovered that I had passed all but one girl- but the lone lady in front of me was a solid 15-20 seconds ahead. Doooom!!

My breathing got a little heezy and wheezy around mile 2.5 which I blame fully on 3 things- my horrible out of shape cardiovascular system, the remnants of The Sick that I have had and the fact that the wind was whipping in my FACE at 60 MPH. No shit, I have never felt wind like that while attempting to run. It pretty much tried to shove me back along the race course, which was met with my frantic cries of agony as I did not want to run any farther then absolutely necessary.

As I sped wildly to the finish I could easily see girl #1 in front of me but didn't have enough gas left in the tank to even take a stab at chasing her down and kicking her ass. Oh well. Next time?

I did, however, have enough energy to showboat like a fool as I ran to the finish line- seeing that I was going to come in at no more than 23:00 got me excited! (what can I say, I'm a show off and not afraid to fist pump and shout WHOO HOO for myself. Yeahhhhh.) I probably need to stop carrying on like that if I am ever to be seen as a serious, highly competitive and feared runner. (pffft...)

The post race festivities were very cold. It's always fun to run in one's own town because you see your friends and neighbors and can catch up with them and all that good old fashioned small town nonsense that I'm so cornily fond of. Good times, good times. I was terrifically pleased to win a gigantic jug of maple syrup for my mind boggling achievements, and a medal as well which has been proudly hung in the best place imaginable (the bathroom. Yes, really.)

All in all a good day. I most definitely could feel a few sore muscles the next day- very unusual post 5K but this was an unusual race, so I'm not shocked. No big problems from the Shin Issue though which was my biggest concern.

I did run in a brand spanking new pair of shoes too- Mizuno wave precisions- which are the freaking bomb diggity thank you very much..

So. I'm back in the saddle so to speak and hope to continue forward with a good Fall of running. (please running Gods. please!)

Sometimes I am wrong. Rarely, but it happens....

I guess I just need to shut the heck up?

After my agony yesterday morning, my gloomy predictions of epic humiliating failure, and my repeated bashing of my head off my desk as I imagined my last place finish, this happened.

I SET A PR!!

Oh no you didn't!!

23:00. After 6 weeks off. 3 runs. A lot of moaning and groaning.

It WAS EPIC. 22nd place overall, and 2nd place female finisher. That really pissed me off but there was no catching the other girl in my current feeble and jiggly condition (13 seconds is insurmountable.)

It was freezing (very unusual for a race day...) 60+ MPH winds for the last mile made things oh so delightful and easy. Like running into cozy comforting arms (of an angry, bitchy nor'easter that is.) Pretty decent sized crowd all of whom looked taller, faster and fitter than myself.

I'll catch up on some details later- like the new shoes I wore, my profound thoughts and feelings (ha ha) and other juicy details. But after yesterdays pre race pity party I wanted to update with the shocking news of my re-entry into the racing world and subsequent success!

Go me. I'm cool.

Musings of a Middleaged Runner

On top of coping with my shin agony of hellacious doom, this week has also been a flashback to July of the Oh-Ten. Meaning? Hotter than the hinges of Hell. Quite dreadful, really and most uncomfortable to do much of anything in (oh wait. I have an outdoor job! one that requires feats of athleticism all the while dressed in the warmest clothing one can imagine. Unfair! I declare shenanigans.... on myself...) I digress.

I had a glorious, albeit painful on the front end 5 miler last Saturday. I did a very beautiful loop around one of the many lakes that my town is so proud of (and that our property taxes reflect, ahem.) No problem with that, which will lead me to my next post (to follow next week) about my final decision regarding a 10K in the Oh-Ten.

On Monday it was hot like WHAT so I retreated to the basement to pound out some elliptical training time. This was bad and not fun. I hate how that machine spreads my legs in ways that they/I protest about (perhaps I need to ask the Huz to post a guest blog on this subject?? Kidding, kidding....!) I found that despite the "low impact" of this activity my leg was more sore than it had been- most bothersome not to mention confusing!

I did another 3 miles on Wednesday morning as the sun attempted to rise around the smog, haze, whatever you want to call the stagnant layer of humidity that we are currently immersed in. I gimped pathetically for the first .5 mile or so and then fell into a pretty decent rhythm as my ass hat leg gave it up. No worse for it afterwards. I had my Sister do a bit of work on the leg the next day and the results were inconclusive- no obvious appalling muscle problem, she applied a lot of pressure to my various leg bones with only moderate yelps of pain from myself, and she declared a tentative diagnosis of a bone bruise. Hmmmm.

The past two days have brought more heat and unbearable humidity but the threat of a hurricane, much shin aggravation (which for whatever reason has faded to a dull background noise this morning) and a flare up from my ruptured toe tendon. I am giving the old bod a break until Monday morning when I will emerge from the ashes of my disabled list fire, and take on the world ready to kick some serious booty! (or. just not go totally lame again.)