Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Dogs. Big life metaphors. Sarcasm. The Road.

One of my clients asked me the other day "So, What do you like BEST about running?" I expect that she was looking for an answer like this: The endorphins! The fitness gains! The epic speed! The magic and pageantry!

What she got?

"My favorite part is running back up my driveway and BEING DONE!!!!!"

Not gonna lie friends, she looked just a tad bit crushed. Feeling a little guilty I expanded upon my gloomy answer to include things like the obvious fact that I feel like superwoman when I'm done (even though I cuss the whole way around the lake) that I appreciate the clear cut way that races are won or lost (ummm, you were slow today so you lost. no mystery there!) and that I enjoy seeing my town from a runners perspective (road trash not included.)

After being in the gym all last week I was especially glad to see my town from the infamous runners perspective for the past couple of days. Running on the road is so much better than running on a treadmill, there is just no comparison. It's silly and foolish to call it the same thing (no offence treadmill lovers, they have their place as I have discovered.) Out on the road I appreciate that I am getting somewhere and that I have a clear visual that I actually AM (A life metaphor! How touching!) I like to feel all the road crap under my feet (little rocks. Sand. Salt chunks from the last storm. pine needles. and occasionally actual crap, thanks local dogs.) I just prefer the whole experience... Until the temps drop into the single digits!

Backtracking a bit.. Speaking of local dogs... Yesterday I was out and about when ZOOM out of the woods busted a stupid yellow dog. Not my stupid yellow dog, he stays home because he is a slow mother effer. (love him!!) Anywho, fast yellow dog scared the bejeebers out of me by leaping out of the woods like a monster and then refused to allow me to catch him and bring him back to safety. Well, fine... Run with me and get hit by an oncoming dump truck. I was most upset by this notion but despite my best efforts I could not get close enough to the little pest to capture him and attempt to return him to his home. He continued to run about 3 miles with me, darting in and out of traffic, giving me a massive coronary and overall being a huge jackass of an idiot and refusing to allow me to catch him (he didn't have a collar so the capture was rather challenging. awesome dog ownership skillzzzz..) We finally made it back to the approximate place that he had found me and I then tried to return him to the correct house, which took several tries. When I finally found his Dad he seemed blissfully unconcerned that his dog had been missing for a while and had just run rampant on our local "numbered highway" with me. "Yeah...." he drawled "He likes to run...." "He likes to get hit by cars!" I countered. "Nahhhhh" said the Dog's Dad "He always comes home in the end." WHAT. EVER. Off I went, shaking my head.

The great thing about having an idiot dog to run with is I put in a DAMN fast 3 miles because I was trying to catch him! Just a touch over 21 minutes- which is pretty kickass for me. The whole 5 miler that I did was quite speedy due to my microburst of dog chasing power. Maybe I should ask the dumb yellow dog to run with me everyday!


  1. I also prefer to run outdoors--I get to see and smell stuff up close! Especially in the spring, when the lilac bushes are blooming--heady stuff. I run because if I don't I'll get fat. And walking is boring and takes too long.

    Starting all over running again after an injury and three months of no running. Feeling very out of shape!

  2. Yes-the outdoors DEFINITELY beats the treadmill. I can handle both but at one point last winter I was outside only 5 days in a whole month. PAINFUL.....

    Dogs while running freak me out! I was bit pretty badly two years ago and then ran backwards for the last mile of a run last year tossing rocks and screaming F-bombs at a German Shepard. Not a hater, but more like a fraidy-CAT!

    You're a good writer! Love the run recap!

  3. omg at your dog story. That's NUTS, but hilarious at the same time. That little bastard! That would be how my dog would act by the way! But the dog owner sounds kinda like a dumbass.
    And I can relate with the "I like to get back to my driveway" part. There are somedays where it feels good to just get it done.

  4. Way to get in some speed work! lol

    The last dog encounter I had while running was getting bit by a freakin' chihuahua.