Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My Epic Fail List. YAY!

The top 10-ish things running things that were complete and utter failures in 2010.
Or, at least moments when I shouted "WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING??!! WHY!!??"

.......In no particular order.............
That training log of mine has to come up again. I type up the most ridiculous stream of consciousness thoughts post run. Like these absurd statements:
-GAHD!!!! Sometimes I try to be fast and I'm so slow that I want to cut off both my feet and throw them down the bulkhead. It was hot but that's no excuse for my epic suckage.
Or this:
-This run was pure and horrible torment. I heaved thru the first MILE AND A HALF like a 300 pound walrus before my legs woke up. And even then, they felt like lead weights on the bottom of my body. At the 0.7 mile mark I wished for a bench to sit upon and to drink a beer.
**sigh** Regardless, I did it. I had a lot of excuses in my head as to why I sucked- "I am tired" "I hate my pink shorts" "I have been up since 4:30 for the past 2 days" Blah, blah, blah.

-The shin splint of Doom. That was really crappy, painful and I was disgusted by the way it stopped me altogether and messed up my plans. GRR.

-The number of times that I had to change my plans for racing (due to the shin splint) was a bummer, but I tried to roll with the punches. I was so looking forward to my first 10K in October but I was still on the DL up until the day before the race date. Too bad, but goals were made to be changed!

-My first couple of races were a challenge, not knowing how to eat or drink properly so as not to throw up. And of course, learning to pace myself and calm my competitive spirit was tedious!

-The thought that I could crack the 21 minute mark in a 5K. Seems much more challenging in reality than it does on paper. It's pretty darn hard to shave off seconds, let alone minutes in such a short race. (unless you start off running a 5K in over 30 minutes- then improving one's time significantly is more realistic!)

-All the persnickety weather conditions. Part of life, I know! But the summer was brutally hot and desperately humid and so far the winter has been frigid, windy and snowy. WAAAA, WAAAA, WAAAA.

-Trying to beat Abs. FAIL! I did once by pure chance and blind luck. Never again... She'd best be watching her back in 2011 cos I'll be gunning for her!!

-And finally:
Trying to maintain a look of demure ladylike fashion while running in all conditions.
Ha. HA HA. Yeah, that works well for me. NOT!

I'm hoping that some of my bloggy friends post top 10-ish lists too. It will be funny/sad to see everyone else's ups and downs from the past year.


  1. Your comments sound just like the conversations I have with myself in my head when I'm running. I'm always so optimistic before I run, and then in the middle of it, I'm calling myself an idiot. Running really fast and with grace seems like an easy goal when you're standing still! Good luck with 2011--I'm looking forward to starting my running again and learning to love it once more. It really sucked for a while!

  2. Such a funny post - I totally understand the walrus feeling!

  3. I LOVE your list!!! .... finding a bench to sit and drink a beer sounds about my reaction to running too!

  4. Ha! Good idea! Love the list. Just might have to do one of my own here!

  5. I just love that you worked "persnickety" into a blog post. One of my favorite words ever. Best wishes for 2011!

  6. Brilliant!! You are hilarious! Those shin splints sound killer though! Fashion....no need for that! Good to see that other people have down when it comes to running too!

  7. Ok, the "I hate my pink shorts" has got to be a classic :) :) You cracked me up with your list!

    (36 year old fulltime RVer living la vida loca with a cute-butt husband and a stink-butt dog!)

  8. :) It is harder thank it sounds to break that 21 min 5k. i was always so frustrated that i only did it once or twice. I always wanted to run in th 19's but 21ish was my number I guess.