Friday, March 4, 2011

Returning to Reality

After the drama and intrigue of my last post I am unsure of my ability to create such a buzz today...
Thanks for all the comments, and for a slew of emails that I got as well! As tempting as it is to throw Captain Asshat and his Gym of Discrimination under a bus I'm going to take the classy road and leave him and his disgraceful "business" well enough alone. Obviously I told all of my closest friends, the Internet and might have mentioned it to a few people who have been known to talk a lot in public... But really, I am a nice lady and have no plans get all lawerly on him.

(I do enjoy that I have just claimed to be classy yet have no intention of washing my hair or putting on makeup today. Thank heavens that I am blessed with such epic natural beauty and can get away with such things.)

Anyway! After leaving The Gym Of Stupidity in complete consternation I somehow managed to lay the smack down on a 3 miler. I killed the thing- somehow pulled it off in 22 minutes which is truly peculiar since I haven't been throwing down the numbers in my speed work lately. I am certain that I was able to execute this fabulous fleet footed feat (oh snap!) because I was a touch pissed off. Better to take it out on the road, correct?

Yesterday I went back to The Gym That Welcomes Me With Open Arms. I felt as though I entered the building in a way that made it obvious that I had been trying to cheat on them. I had... The face of an adulterous? Luckily there was nobody there to see me do the walk of shame, or to hear my confessions of transgressions.
I did some particularly restrained mile repeats. My hip flexor wasn't flexing in a pleasant manner so I was a bit more careful than I would have liked to be. I did 5 miles, 3 repeats in 8:41 (suck-a-rama) 8:20 (wouldn't want to try to hard, would I?) and 7:53 (a bit better.)

Hit the road in my very best garb today in an attempt to frighten the people in my town. I said to my Mom as I was leaving, that I thought I looked rather well put together, all things being taken into consideration. She disagreed. My Mom... She always knows what to say!
Her words: "Well.... Nobody will try to rape you!" AHAHAHAH. HAHAHA! HA!.... Well, I certainly don't want to be thrown into a windowless van of terror so I simply couldn't see what was so bad?! Once I got past my non-rape-ability hysterics I managed to terrorise about half of my town (why was everybody out on the road? to see me? in pink fleeced horror garb??) and did 6 miles of hills and doom on legs that kept whining like little bitches. It was a pretty good run though, with no rape- thank goodness!


  1. Nothing like a little pissed-off-ness to get a girl moving ;-)

    Hold your head high in the Nice Gym. And your legs were whining cuz you did two booty-bustin' workouts in a row!

    Glad you were safe on your run :)

  2. That is best mom-comment ever. Glad you had a good pink-fleece wearing run!

  3. I just wash my hair if I workout! lol So working out is actually an excuse for hygiene, heh. And I don't own any make up except an eyeliner!!

    Hills awe awesome and you have just reminded me that I need some badly! heh :)


  4. You are so funny! I enjoy looking my ugliest when I work out or run outside. It guarantees people will leave me alone.

  5. Wow, I wish we could see the outfit that provoked that comment!

  6. Hahahahahaha! I needed a good laugh this morning. Your entire post had me rolling. Seriously loved it.