T-minus 7 days, winter, and an important question.

Last year at this time, Eric and I were just over a week away from running the Dopey Challenge. The weather had been fantastic and I had maintained a really solid base after my Fall marathon.
Later in January, I began Boston training in good, even great shape. I had a kickass base and was ready to work.

This December, the weather has been much worse and I have been dealing with a lack of treadmill. (This will be remedied shortly, more on this in the next couple days.) With training scheduled to start in one week I'm thankful for this!

Today last year on the left. Today this year on the right.

Honestly, I can't remember a time when I have embarked on my Boston Training mission in worse running shape.
Well. Whatever, right? I have 15 weeks, which is basically an eternity for me so even if I need 3-4 weeks of really slow and careful building, I will be ok. Hopefully.

Yeah. For the most part the weather has been crap. Too cold.

THIS. SHIT.

I have been using my bike and my noisy new/used bike trainer more than I ever have. I am TERRIBLE!! Honestly kids, I am a god awful cyclist. I have been running as best as I can, to the inspirational tune of 15 miles per week. Better than the 10 from last week. #seriousrunner

Anyway. It's the Holiday season which is always nice. (or, like a normal Sunday but that's cool too.)
Eric and I had a nice Christmas and did a little running in the slush and slop.

Slush run, many dark layers. Where is my neon??

Then we went on a magical walk to hunt pokemon and look at the angry ducks who live in the river.

The angriest ducks in the world live under that bridge. I love them.

So here is my important question. In this day and age of Instagram, I know people don't really read blogs anymore (well, I do but that's beside the point.)

BUT!! If you read my blog and plan to follow me (and my weekly updates) for the next 15 weeks, what would you be interested in hearing about?
I like to talk about some pretty random things and have enjoyed writing my weekly updates of running, beer drinking, the weather and terrible TV viewing. Clearly, these are thigs I enjoy yammering on about.

I'd love some feedback from my *three* readers. What do you guys want me to tell you? What would YOU like me to document each week? (I'm going to optimistically guess that exactly one person leaves a comment, haha... maybe two. but most likely one!!)
Let me know in the comments, or on Facebook and I'll be sure to cover your requests. :-)

Boston Marathon: "There's an endless road to re-discover" Part TWO.

I woke up on Monday morning feeling ready to run a damn race. The sun was shining, the hooligans that had kept us up almost all night were finally quiet, and all was well in the world.

Kate put my race braids in, I liberally applied sunscreen, I put on my finest throwaway attire and prepared to run some miles. IT WAS TIME!!!!!!!!

Beast Mode! BWAAAAA!

 From our hotel it was an easy walk, maybe a half mile, to the buses. It was a bit cool but warmer than the previous morning. I was relieved since freezing to death for 3 hours in athletes village is a wicked bummer. I basically hopped on a bus and was on my way to Hopkington!

Since I was not freezing in a horrible way I enjoyed my few hours in the village. Hanging out with 36,000 crazy runners can't be a bad time! I did all my usual things, eating, drinking, applying Body Glide to my whole body, standing in line for an hour to use a porta-pottie, all the fun stuff! (non running friends- applying Body Glide is whole body business if you know what I mean. and we do this in public and do not care.)

Mostly though, I went over a mental rehearsal of my plan.
"Let the excited people go, do not run a 6:47 pace and blow your load, maintain thru the half, try to hit 13.1 around 1:40-1:42, hydrate at every 2nd water stop after mile 4, ease up over the hills, motor to the finish in a 3:25" I had it DOWN.

Even before I headed to my corral I was warm enough to shed all my layers, including gloves which is very rare for me. It was beautiful though, very sunny (I reapplied sunscreen because it was rather intense) with a few tiny puffs of wind but pretty quiet. I also saw Crystal who basically picked me up and shook me all around. I love her!

As usual there was no waiting around at the start, we lined up and off we went! Big, excited crowds of spectators, crowded running conditions, the usual.

And yeah, you can tell it was getting pretty darn hot.

 Unlike last year I really enjoyed the first part of the course. I was running at the exact pace that I intended and it felt easy and maintainable. I was hydrating and eating on schedule and other than noticing that I was sweating- and sweating a LOT things felt really good. YAY! I loved running, I loved the marathon, I loved all the people and the spectators handing out beers! (I passed)
It was, however, a lot warmer than I am used to and my body was working overtime, sweating like a beast trying to cool me down. Calm down body, seriously. Taking this into consideration I started alternating between a little water and a little Gatorade at each stop. I'm careful not to overdo it because I don't want to get sloshy and barf- but a few inches of fluid usualy works like a charm.

I ran thru the half in 1:40:00. Right around this time one of the Oiselle girls caught me and we ran together for a mile or two. She was shooting for a 3:20 so we were both right on pace. We talked about how intense the heat was getting and how it was starting to be a struggle to keep cool or even remotely comfortable. She grabbed a water bottle from a spectators hydration station and we shared that, feeling that it was getting to be a challenge to get enough fluid in at that point. We were maintaining though, so I think at that point we were feeling good about the outcome.

Lots of people. EVERYWHRE. It was great!

I knew my Dad was going to be at mile 18.5 so my focus was to get there, I ran a slightly slower mile 17 because I felt funky, very hot and very very dry... As I ran thru mile 18 I realized why I was bone dry- I had stopped sweating. Crapola.
I stopped for a good couple minutes to talk to my Dad, letting him know that I was getting worried about how hot it was (it was 70- so no, not warm for you southerners, but brutal for me and my damn polar vortex!) He told me to drink, he gave me a chapstik and I was off again.
And continued to feel off..
......and on a side note......
To make things even worse at this point my brain started to sing "Heyyyyyy Brother" and wouldn't let it go. Constant repeat. That song is just awful! What is it trying to be?

This is what Kate thinks. Quality evaluation.

Back in reality, I got fairly close to pace but at mile 22 got really hot and dizzy so I stopped for some salt and gatorade. Heading back out I picked up my pace and my legs completely cramped up, all the way from my calves to my lower back. FULL. ON. CRAMP-AGE.
I was in horrifying pain and couldn't so much as hobble. It would have brought me to tears except I was so damn dry that I was like the Sahara dessert and there were zero tears in there.
I kind of hippity-hopped my way to mile 22.5 when I stopped, borrowed a strangers phone and texted my Mom, asking her to tell Kate and Eric that I was struggling. At this point I was noticing that runners were going down quite frequently and that the EMT's had their hands full, and I did not want them to think I was racked out somewhere too.

But I basically was. I really wanted to get that feeling of "it's ok, you are tough! push thru this, here is your second wind, your legs will work again, you are fine and can still finish strong!"
Unfortunately that never happened.
I was in horrible, horrible pain. And still singing Hey Brother.
Every time I tried to run faster than a feeble jog I got all weird feeling which was scary.
I REALLY wanted to FINISH. Like, really badly.

So I did. I picked up a shuffle as we turned on to Hereford, and was able to continue past my cheering family all the way to the finish.

See how I look close to death? Yeah that was a problem.

And the clock read 3:54:50.... It wasn't my day to win the race.

Bailey drew this for me on Saturday while singing "Hey Brother"

30 minutes over my goal pace. Not even remotely what I trained for. But I finished, thank heavens.
Seeing the masses of people being helped to the med tent passing out and projectile vomiting I continued past, feeling funky but not near death and mostly rather sad. 
Eric found me and I was sad. My family came to celebrate with me and I was sad! And really pale and deathly looking so they pumped me full of gatorade and pretzles after first sending me to the med tent to see if I needed an IV (I wasn't puking, so I did not)

After I felt better I cheered up well and was really happy that we got to have a proper family after-party this year!! It was great fun and made my horrific performance much more tolerable.
My family is fun and they always make me feel better, usually by Mom-ing me to death (which I love) tending to my medical needs and magically procuring gatorade and snacks out of thin air!

Eric is holding me up.

The bottom line is that I was at the damn Boston Marathon and that's a big deal, and something that I'm very lucky to be able to participate in. It was an incredible year to be there which counts for much more than an individual performance. I almost feel guilty posting this very honest commentary on my experience as many other bloggers seem to be going the "everything is perfect even if it sucks" route (haha) But this is reality, it sucks to have a lousy day at the most awesome race ever and I believe an heartfelt recap is just fine.

And this individual looks like S-H-I-T

Being that I am a goal oriented person I am certainly not satisfied with my run but know that this was simply out of my control. It is almost impossible to have a 30 degree temp change and to not be affected by it. I don't see this as an excuse, simply as a fact. I would be lying if I said I wasn't quite disappointed, I am human after all.... The tough thing about a marathon is that you can't head out and seek redemption the following weekend (well, I can't!) so this is going to bug me for a while.
But until then... I'll keep training smart and will keep my chin up. The way I ran the first 13- and maintained to the 22-ish mile mark even though I felt off tells me that I have a sub 3:25 in me, if not a 3:20. I'm ready to have that happen and plan to meet that goal (at least the first one!) by the end of the year.
If marathons were easy everyone would do them.
I will be back at Boston next year and redemption will be mine!!!!!

And until then I'll just ease the pain with some ice cream!

Ultra Training thus far: OR: What am I THINKING??!

I am pleased to say that for the most part my Ultra training is going quite well. On a side note, i believe that from now until race day I am going to refrain from calling this race an ultra and simply call it a 50K. To me, 50K sounds worse. To most (or so it seems) an ultra needs to be at least 50 miles. I'm doing an ultra-lite, haha! That's enough for me thank you!

Indeed, race training is marching along. Less than 3 weeks to go and I am still sound, sane (for the most part) and thinking that this cycle of ultra training could happily continue into fall marathon season.

Well. I was thinking that until this Sunday's long run of death and horror.

It had to happen. All my long runs have been in 62 degree weather- I kid you NOT! I had a feeling that on the first day that my multi hour run fell on an 85 plus degree day that I was going to eat shit.

I knew it was going to be hot so I pre planned, ate right, got hydrated, set up aid stations and pledged to never even INCH above a 9:30 pace.

The best laid plans.... 

Getting ready. Thank you Eric for this *amazing pic*

How I felt about this particular photo montage. Heehee.

I was a little sad to discover that I did not have ANY of my favorite outfits clean and ready to go..
Oh well... I knew I'd just sweat on and destroy this one anyway!

Being a glamourous weirdo, per the norm... *sigh*

And then... I WAS OFF!!!!!

If this run had finished at 2 hours I would have proclaimed that it was perfect! I ate and hydrated properly (until I ran in to start lap 2.) My legs felt great, my mindset was perfect and I was convinced that I was going to dominate this long run like a boss! Of course, I also noticed that the air was HOT, like hot to even breathe- and there was not a breath of wind. I was sweating so much that I pulled off my tank at mile 13 (my rest stop/lap 2 point) and mopped my face and disgustingly wiped my nose on it. Eww. The good news was that lap one had really gone according to plan: good hydration, good nutrition, good slow as molasses pace.

                                        Running into mile 13 and my turn around for lap 1.
                                             I was shooting for about 23-24 miles. UGH.

This is the point when I think I made a critical error. I had been consistently sipping water and gatorade, and having my normal running snacks. I was feeling like the fricking Sahara desert at this point to I made a terrible choice, chugged about 20 ounces of gatorade and chased it with a hefty dose of water. At this point, I also decided to carry along a water bottle even though doing so drives me crazy, and I had another aid station a few miles away (the choice to carry the h2o is an important detail for later.)

One mile into lap 2 terrible things began to happen. WHO knows why!!! My stomach became disgustingly sloshy with the 20 ounces plus of ill advised hydration slopping around. Very shortly thereafter I began to experience some most unpleasant hiccups which varied between being heinously painful and charmingly vomity. So awful. By the time I was 5 miles away from home I was fairly certain my day was done but tried (and tried, and tried) to shake it off and talk myself thru the tough moments. That is what long distance sports are all about after all.

I carried on in this truly horrible condition for quite some time. I was really ready to man the fuck up and get this run done! I tried to eat (failed) tried to drink more (drank maybe 10 more ounces of my water bottle- again, important detail...)

I think I was due for a horrid long run. THIS WAS IT. It could NOT have been worse.

I stopped counting miles and counted steps. I was rather annoyed because until mile 15 or so I had really been enjoying myself and feeling strong! The weather continues to be hot, humid, airless and stale. I wished I had my phone because by mile 18 I was struggling every step- and for someone who ran 20 2 weeks ago like it was NBD this isn't a great feeling.

At mile 20 I looked up, groggily, to see a large light colored dog running at me, barking ferociously. Over the din I could hear his owner's panicked cries and when I looked at the dog bearing down on my I knew why. I was about to get fucking killed... I had no idea what to do and I knew I didn't stand a chance if he really meant business. Without even thinking (and literally- as I felt his breath ON ME) I squirted my water bottle in his eyes. I was just enough to startle him and he swerved slightly. As he rounded back on me I bashed him in the face with said-super-hero-water-bottle and squirted him again. Bottom line, I can't play the quick thinking tough guy here. If this dog had REALLY wanted to bite me he would have. I was lucky. And scared shitless. And I will ALWAYS carry mace from now on, and I'm not scared to use it!

The owner was quite upset. As she should have been. The dog had been tied but broke his run when he saw me. she openly admitted that he was a dog who is dangerous and unfriendly to passers by but still "a good dog." I'm a dog lover but I'm not quite sure that being that unfriendly is a good trait.

I borrowed her phone and called for rescue. I had had enough of the whole experience!

Done. UGH.

I was pretty destroyed for a couple hours. Lots of complaining about how disgusting I felt.

 If I learned anything from last years summer marathon training (which is debatable since I swore never to do it again- yet here I am...) it was that one horrible long run doesn't affect the outcome of the race. I did wake me up to the need to re-think (AGAIN. again, UGH AGAIN) my hydration on hot days. If it's 60 degrees and raining I have this shiz down to a science but I'm not well practiced this year for the hot temps. With only a couple weeks to go it might not happen.  Since the weather is out of my hands I'm not going to stress, because what can I do? I'm just going to wrap up my final weeks of training and I'll see all of you crazies at the start line. I have no idea what is going to happen on race day (but who does?) Honestly, if it is that hot I might be chugging along in survival mode. Or turn into a spectator at mile 8, HAH!

2.5 weeks to go.... We shall see what happens.

(A quick housekeeping note as well. you can find me on Bloglovin, along with the rest of the blogger world apparently!)

 

Marathon Nightmares!!!!

I awoke on Friday morning terribly upset because I had a dreadful marathon nightmare!!! I firmly believe that it is just too early for that kind of absurdity. Seriously marathon nightmares- can't you have the decency to wait until I'm tapering??

OK so my dream started out at mile 20 (Of Hyannis) when I looked at my watch only to discover that I was significantly- I mean significantly- ahead of my goal pace. Needless to say I was delighted and amazed by my obvious physical prowess.

Then things took a turn for the worse.

                                        Because I saw this little bump. UM? Flat course???

I am a chronic hill runner so I did not let this small change of plans rattle me. Up I went. The problem? Once I was at the top there was nowhere else to go. Nowhere...I was forced to wait a long time for a Gondola. It wasn't quite as awesome as this one. I climbed in and zipped around a few bends in a very Disney ride sort of way and was deposited off in the middle of the woods. Huh.

Just a normal day at the Marathon.

I hate heights. This would never work out for me..

I disembarked from the Gondola to find that, not shockingly, my legs were starting to cramp up. I tried to ease back into running and felt like my legs weighed 500 pounds each and were glued to the road. Then things got worse. Out of the blue, Eric's big tall friend Ben caught up to be and passed me! On a side note, as bad as the dream had been to this point this was the turning point for me into legit nightmare. This is a really random thing to have happen too, as I have only met Ben one time.

This is Big Tall Ben.
He's like 7'5" no kidding.
He is going to be running Hyannis and I'm wondering if I should be scared!

I was just horrified that Big Tall Ben was going to beat me. It really ruffled my feathers so I tried to get my huge 500 pound legs to run. They really, really didn't want to but I got going at a shuffle. A slow, laborious, nightmarish shuffle of doom.

As I came into the last 3 miles I remembered that they had to be run a few times around a city. A confusing city with no volunteers to point the way and no signs. No help at all. CRAP!

I was suspicious that it was rather like the Financial District.
It was worse in my dream though...

I tried and failed to find my way. I sat on the curb because my gigantic lead filled legs just couldn't keep running, and I waited for another runner to go by and lead the way. Someone finally did and I followed them for miles before I realized that it was a recreational runner off for a Sunday jog. UGH!!! I finally crossed the finish line, in 3:37:00 which was amazing considering my debacle but utterly disapointing especially considering that at mile 20 I was running for like, a 3:03:00!

I walked around to locate Eric and found him drinking beer and shopping in a horse tack store with Big Tall Ben. This struck me as wrong on many levels. He had also beaten me, and beaten me so soundly that I had never even seen him out on the course. Again, this struck me as wrong.

I was honestly a bit upset by this dream! It took me the whole day to shake it off and I thought it probably meant that I was going to have a terrible, terrible long run! (I did not.) 

I am very hopeful that this is it for the Marathon nightmares and that they do not become a trend around here.  They are exhausting and ridiculous and insulting. 

In which we kill our last long run.....

I'd like to say as early on as possible that the title of this post is a complete lie. I just did that to get your attention. In reality I should have used one of my other ideas...

A few possible titles for today's post:
In which our last long run kills us......
In which we learn that not all long runs are easy....
In which we narrowly avoid certain death....
In which we try to run for our lives and end up dying on the side of the road....

Do you see a pattern? Anyway, on to the good stuff.

I would imagine that one would hope, wish, pray, beg and negotiate with the running Gods that their last long run pre taper be a good one. I certainly know that I was at 4PM yesterday evening...

I can only hope that a bad dress rehearsal leads to a damn good show in the running world- if not, I'm screwed every which way until Friday. Or, late evening on the 27th of July....!

We had things like the weather working against us- it was 90. And humid. I know that I pregamed like a boss: steadily drinking water all day, smartly eating decent food beforehand, bringing my LARGE handheld and a stash of nasty GU. I talked myself into it big time- I was mentally as prepared as I could have been (despite a bit of complaining) and really thought that we might kill it.

So off I marched to meet up with Danielle at her house to take to the streets of Portland, Westbrook and beyond to dominate everyone and everything and to make running our bitch.

**that was the plan. seriously. game on. big pimpin style**

SO OFF WE WENT!

Despite the intense heat we both felt alright for the first 6 miles. No problems. Except that I totally ran out of water despite the huge bottle. Before mile 6... NOT a good sign...

Topics covered: All of Danielle's Marathon domination, her creepily clanking ankle, the bowl of milk at mile 0.04 that had my initials on it (ok. why won't THAT picture load?) our copious amounts of sweat and how the world is so lucky to have us. Which is a fact.

Emergency Water Stop NUMBER ONE!
Bottom line: There was NO WAY that we could keep up hydration given the amount we were sweating.
Thanks to Danielle's super cute Dad for the H20. Lifesaver...

We ran steadily, although with additional complaining inspirational words of motivation from miles 6-13 with another crisis water stop thrown in there somewhere. Right around the Half Marathon point we both started to come undone in a big way kill it, kill it, and run at a 6:30 pace, sprinting thru red lights and plowing over old people on Jazzy scooters and small children like it was our business...

Topics discussed at red lights which we hoped would last forever: How running sucks, how we literally could not run to save our lives, shark porn, potential vomiting, Oh, and I had to come to a full halt to watch a plane land. Yes I am very cool. We kept shouting things at each other: UGH! DAMMIT! FUCK! I HATE THIS AND I HATE YOU!!! (oops sorry) being the most popular.

I have no idea how we managed to get to mile 22. No. Idea. From mile 13 and on both of us could not have hated life more. I have to give my legs a tiny bit of cred for having (maybe) one decent mile in there. ONE! UGH!

We stopped at Dunks for emergency ice water which I proceeded to plunge many body parts into my cup and basically rub the ice all over myself. In the middle of the store. It was very, very sexy. NOT.

Topics covered: How not to behave in public, how to get sponsored by an amazing running clothing store (um, by behaving better in public perhaps?) How Danielle should push me home in a shopping cart, how neither of us would notice or mind if the other one peed in her shorts- but how the each of us would mind the feeling of having urine soaked shorts.

OMG. We are so awesome.

At the end of the run we had to sneak in something silly like 0.3 miles, which we did by running around and around and around at the end of a road, making airplane arms on the turns. WHY!!? Why.... Oh right, because we are awesome.

Topics Covered by my inner monologue in the last 1 mile: I CAN NOT TAKE ONE MORE STEP. (but could I run 4 more miles if I absolutely needed to.....? yes. but they would EFFING HURT!)

And the normal stuff like;  I wonder if I'm going to throw up? dammit my feet are killing me, how does Danielle's hair manage to look so good after all that??, my clothes are so sweaty that I feel like I have been swimming, are we done? NO.. Are we DONE? NO!!! Are We Done....?? YES....

Holy crapola kids, we look freaking amazing in this picture.
This is why hot running clothes companies should send us merch to pimp...
22 miles of death and still rocking the fashion!
As good as we looked I don't think either of us felt very well.......

Because this happened.
Dead.
Hate Life.
But we are still sexy.

Danielle announced that she was going to drink so much water that she would probably throw up.
I suggested sitting in an ice bath and drinking it thru a straw. Then I was grossed out.
She lay down to die.
I sat down to focus on imminent death and or violent hurling.

I left to die alone and then this happened.

The aftermath: I awoke this morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck and run over several times. The Plan called for 6 recovery miles and I had to call it a day at mile 4 because I was a complete strugglebus. I might have cried.

Luckily 4 bottles of water and a fistful of Advil later I had improved somewhat.

I got a text from Danielle, who basically NEVER feels pain saying that she was still iffy too. I was glad that I wasn't alone in my anguish (although by 2 PM she was texting me to man the eff up and eat some ice cream. dude, I'm lactose intolerant...come on.... :-))

I like this text very much.
We are totally talking ourselves into it, HAH!!

So at this point that's it. Taper time is here and what's done is done. Both of us have made it to this point with only a few bouts of hysteria (mostly mine...) a few broken legs (mostly mine...) and a bunch of man the eff up texts (mostly Danielle's to me....)

19 days... OMG.

In which I run badly and ride well....

Last week was a very slow week in the running department in oh so many ways.

I timed it so that my light mileage week coincided with my epic Floridian vacation. The bonus was that when I returned home it was even warmer than Florida so it did not break my heart not to have a long run on the schedule.

By FAR, it was the lowest mileage week that I have had in months. It was odd. I was hoping that it would resolve my shin shit/calf crap but it did not. **big angry sigh!!**

I am back to it this week with a 13 already in the books. A 13 which could be more correctly logged in as a swim as it was raining that hard. Legit drowning out there, needed goggles in a big way. I need to get my lazy butt back into the speed work routine so I'm going to plunk around the Wednesday 5K again, breaking more land speed records. ...or NOT as the case may be.... And there is a weekend long run looming on the horizon giving me nightmares.

I did manage to do a few productive things last week.

Other than just lounging around being awesome per the norm.

Had a horse show and managed to get both my boys qualified for Regional finals! Ohhh yay!

Mr B also got his highest score ever, which is much more remarkable then it sounds. I should now tell a long sappy story about how my coach pretty much kicked my ass this spring and told me to have a little faith in myself... Um, yeah. Sometimes I go there... Who doesn't? But this is a story for another day.

At the show looking dead sexy with some of my BFF's!!

Mr Chauncy, who was very good as well!

In which I go on Vacation.

So last Thursday I ran that super speedy 5K and snagged another worlds worst pic. Look at my race number flapping all around crazy. The pin ripped out in the first mile and it was mayhem from then on. Man, I am an attractive and friendly looking lady..

Hey- you who keeps tagging these on Facebook! Oh, you know who you are...
We might be fighting. There will be payback.
Ok I'm not mad anymore. But GAHD, my running pics suck...

Then last Friday I ran 22 miles over hill and dale, on a fairly warm day and was actually very pleased with the whole run. It took a while- I think it was about 3:06, I drank 5 bottles of water and was given Cheetos at mile 12 by a friend who lives on my route (thanks Pat & Cassie!!) Those Cheetos made me happier than they should have... But, I felt good. Good mindset. Moderately crappy left shin/calf but that's the story of my life right now. Honestly though- it was my best long yet and I'd like to wrap it up and put it in my pocket. That wouldn't be awkward or anything..

I think I managed 51 miles for the week. 

After all that it was time to go on Vacation with my sis and BFF!!

We went to Sarasota and were very, very excited.

We were NOT excited to get up at 3 AM and the following texts reflect on what happenes to us when we have an ass early flight.  

Oh I'm sorry, We are 12. Or maybe 5...



I got up to run early every day, and saw this. And this is good.
All my running sucked though.
My running sucked worse than it has in YEARS!!!!
Thank heavens for low mileage weeks.

Thank heavens that after crap running there was THIS!
We went to the beach EVERY DAY!
We sat on the sand and looked at the lifeguards.
Winning. At. Life.

I'm a dork and I wear dorky hats.
So what.
And big orange earrings (only in Florida!!)

This pretty much says it.
Kickass vacation with kickass people.

In which many running questions are answered...

Hey look! Another picture of me looking dejected... Caught by the running paparazzi looking as though I'm about to hurl upon my shoes. (I'm not actually. people who as as awesome as I am simply can not be bothered to blow massive chunks upon their purple kicks. ahem...)
I had just finished up a 10 miler, which simply should not be a big deal. BUT. IT. WAS. It was essentially a death march and I was in NO way pumped about it. YUCK. (running, we are in a big fight today...)
But I digress.
This is kind of a bonus post for this week but I thought the most recent round of pictures present the opportunity to answer a few pressing quesitons.
(question "a" being "did you vom" a: NO..)

Q: How many miles does it take for me to consider a run to be legit? As in, worth slapping on 3 horribly conflicting shades of purple for (gahd woman, get a mirror.)
A: While I might be saying 10 in this picture since that I what I managed to get my stupid jerk legs to haul me thru yesterday the answer to this question is 6. I have a profound dislike for wasting perfectly good (semi clean, even) (and color coordinating!) running attire on anything less than that...

Q: Man Sara, you clearly love to run! You must always feel so awesome about it! Puppies! Kittens ! Rainbows! Freaking unicorns!

A: (eff off)

Just kidding. Just kidding. (but really, eff off..!) Look at my FACE. Do I look pumped? Do I look FAB? NO! Honestly though, I like running 99% of the time. The other 1% I hate its guts and think that running is the biggest ass**** that I have the pleasure of knowing.

And bonus Q since I have heard this one 300 times this week:

Q: How did you manage to go from a 1:51 1/2 to a 1:36 1/2 in TWO weeks??

A: I didn't. Not at all. The truth of the matter is that 1:45 was where I was comfortable before last Saturday (which, while awesome wasn't exactly cozy comfy awesome sauce...) But here's how:

-I worked long and hard and (that's what she said...)

-I was shamed into speed work. At Hampton my running friend pointed out the painful obvious that if I did it I'd get used to it. Fricking revalation there for Miss Genuis.... Oy! PALM! FOREHEAD!

-I'm running a lot. Period.

-Rather simple, and (sadly) no shortcuts or magic elixer (but if you have one I'll take it...)

On a side note: I had a whole post prepped to talk about that super cute new Nike ad (the "I'll run to you ad) but can't imbed the video link. Anyway- it's all over the interwebs so go watch it and get the warm and fuzzies. (or the crabby and hatefuls, depending on how you roll...)

The proof is in the numbers. And the numbers SUCK!

Remember that 5K I ran back in September? The one where I had the feeling that I was running faster than I had EVER RUN BEFORE? The race where despite the fact that I ran as HARD as I could I missed a PR by a decent chunk of time and actually recorded one of my slowest 5K times? (and yes, it was still quick enough. BUT I felt like I was running 7 minute miles and was pretty pissed.)

After that race I ran a Half, hurt my foot and was on the DL for 3 weeks. I needed something new and entertaining to get my thru my recovery runs so I downloaded a couple apps- I map my run and the Nike one. I figured it would be fun to see my routes and to get a handle on how fast/slow I was running.

**A quick reminder that I spent the whole summer burned out on calculating time, distance, splits, incline, whatever. I ran gadget free for months and thought all was well***

WELL. After the recovery period was over I set out to run for real- I wanted to run a few miles, one for warm up then a few closer to race pace.

I must say that I DO NOT appriciate the brutal honesty of Miss Nike. "ONE MILE, NINE MINUTES FORTY SEVEN SECONDS" she informed me. "OH, OK NBD" said I. "That was my "warm up."

Mile two was my chance to kick it up a notch and so I did. I was feeling good, rested, the foot wasn't bugging me, it was a beautiful day and blah de fricking blah. "TWO MILES" Said Miss Nike... "EIGHTEEN MINUTES, FORTY SECONDS."

Oh, hold the fricking phone....

And now we all know WHY I did NOT PR at said September race. HAH! Apparently, devoid of a watch, a treadmill, and a concience my "fast" miles were coming in closer to what I exoect my "warm up" miles to look like. I was a touch horrified but I also react well to brutal honesty after my initial reaction of throwing my iphone to the ground and stomping it. (just kidding, I love my iphone and it is not its fault that I am lazy!)

As I look towards a couple of fall 5K's I am now aware that I am in desperate need of some mile repeats in order to kick my game up a notch. Only time will tell if I have the motivation to make that happen...

Math

Math: I hate you. Barely made it thru Algebra for Dummies in Highschool, for serious!

However. To figure out how badly I'm gonna PW at the upcoming Maine Half I took out my calculator for some addition. I did not wish to have to take off my shoes to use my toes, ya know?

Al-righty oh. My PR for a half is what? 1:45:48? Or is it 1:48:45? I plan to look into this. This was back in the day when I trained for such activities, was in lethally good shape and could keep up a brutal pace for hours at a time. I might have thrown up afterwards but what's a little Vom between friends??

This time: Blissfully unaware, unprepared, woefully out of shape, sadly slow.

The plan. Walk the whole damn thing. Oh wait a sec, the marathoner will finish before I do. No thanks.

The REAL plan: Run a few miles super slow. Walk a mile. Run a few miles super slow. Sit down, Cry. Walk a mile. Run a mile? Take a nap.

Where the calculator comes into play: Say I manage to run my miles at 9:15 (fair guess) and walk a mile in what? 16-17 minutes? How the hell long does it take to walk a mile?? Anyway this is how it might play out-

Run 4 miles (I can do it!!)- That will take about 37 minutes. I'm cutting myself some slack here because there is bound to be start line congestion.

Walk a mile- 16 minutes.

Run 3 miles (maybe...) 28ish minutes

Walk a mile- 4 hours (or 16 minutes) (we're at mile 9!)

Run 2 miles- 19 minutes cos I suck

Walk a mile- 17 minutes cos I suck more (are we at mile 12?)

Run the final 1.1 in a huge burst of speed!!! or in 10 minutes because who am I kidding??

That has me finishing in 2:20 which seems VERY optimistic. I think I may have missed an entire mile in there somewhere, maybe mile 0-1 which I always forget about (don't laugh.) Feel free to check my math...

I think I'll shoot for 2:30. That gives me 45 extra minutes which I don't think is enough!

We shall see....

Things I learn Along the way...

Things that I learn along the way.. Part. Two? Three? Twelve? Who knows!

1: Last summer I discovered that I simply did not have time to run as much as I wished to. I felt guilty about this, overdid it when I had time and hurt myself badly enough to have to take about 5 weeks off. I remembered all of this (because I am so wise) and tried hard not to repeat the chaos this year. So far, success.

2: Life comes in this order:
a: Work
b: Work
c: other things, like family stuff and the thing I like to call running
d: blogging (don't know how y'all manage to do it daily or even weekly!)

3: Every run does not have to be epic. It does not have to be hill work, speed work, a 10 miler, or even need to feel very good (and believe me, it doesn't.) NEXT year I will remember these words of wisdom!

4: Apparently I can still run a 23:14 5K with no practice. Maybe I just WON'T practice!

5: However. If one wishes to PR in a 10K or if one has a Half on the brain then practice is advisable (so sad.)

6.a: If the run actually feels good keep running in the manner of Forrest Gump. What could happen!? (see words of wis #1...)

6.b: Hmm. So this year I can spontaniously bust out some decent mileage and feel fine. I wonder if it has to do with all the miles I put in last winter and muscle memory? It is like that with horses- once they lay down a base of muscle structure they can get back to hard work quickly after some down time. Well, much faster then when you bring them into good condition the first time around at any rate. Is it like this with people? Who the hell knows...

There are my words of wisdom.
The End.

Crappy Spring Weather

The dreary weather is getting old, and I'm getting sick of seeing it!
I suppose that the one good thing is that 44 degrees and drizzle really does a hell of a job keeping the bugs away. UGHHHHH.

Let's backtrack a bit. I made an offhand comment about loosing weight post-half training insanity. I do feel the need to clarify that I certainly do not need to loose weight, nor am I excited to see it happen! The only time that my weight goes up is when I am seriously muscular and the only time it goes down is when I relax the intensity of the training. Or when I'm vomming for hours on end, or when work gets really nuts and (Heaven Forbid) I have to miss meals.

There is simply no denying the fact that day after day of this shiznit crapola weather is really testing my good mood. After spending the whole freaking day slogging along working outside in it the LAST thing I want to do is slap on the old running shoes and get soaked to the bone. MEH! So I'm taking the bull by the horns and heading out right NOW to sprint thru the gloomy countryside. (which means that before my next client I'll have to do something about the soggy clothing, frizzball hair and disgusted attitude.) **SIGH**

In which I fail at long runs, but win at life.

The time has come to discover the answer to the age old question... What is worse? Big hills? Chapped knees? Muddy roads? Or what? The winner of this diabolical question is all of the above... And just a bit more for good measure.

I was looking at my long run with a bit of trepidation as I have really been pushing it a bit lately and henceforth, feeling it in my knees, my shin, and especially my brain which was just tired! I took a day off after my muddy hilly dirt road 6 miler over the weekend (which, despite the sounds of things was a solid run! go figure...)

My plan for the infamous long run of torment was to bypass all the mountains, avoid the 30 MPH wind and 25 degree temps, and baby my poor little knees along on the treadmill (which hasn't been blessed with the presence of my feet in weeks!) Alas, it was not meant to be. Things got busy and before I knew it my driving to the gym time had been absorbed by what I like to call "answer impossible question time". This is the time of day when my clients ask me to solve their life problems for them. This presents something of a challenge for me as I am only well versed in a few subjects- but what the hell- I always give it a good shot.

So... Armed with the knowledge that I had another happy client who was more tech savvy thanks to my instruction off I went. Gusting winds in my face. Frozen ground under my feet. An attempt to maintain a positive mindset... in my brain? Yeah....

Things felt just fine until I got to mile 4 and then I discovered that I was freaking starving. Evidently, it was a lot later that I thought it was and was nearing my snack time. Which is one of the most important times of the day for me, thank you very much. You should not get between this girl and her food unless you want to have an epic battle in which I win, and then steal your candy! HA! So... I reached for my Clif block shit thing only to discover that in my haste to depart I had neglected to put on my vest which normally carries all my valuables: aka: FOOD. Damnit.

Things did not end well. We'll leave it at that. After 9 wimpy miles I crept back into my parents driveway completely worked over, sore, starving and really grouchy. What a complete shit show, I was irked by my complete lack of planning and general incompetence. Upon witnessing my dive into the dirty snowbank and hearing my agony my Dad did the only sensible thing.

He brought me a beer. Good thinking!

I am so delighted to see that despite my MANY layers of clothing that I still am roughly the size and shape of Justin Bieber. Why, WHY?!

Anyway. I survived. For the rest of the week pre race I am going to do the easiest runs imaginable and try to nurse my sore body parts back to good health. I think this is a good lesson to all: nothing- bad weather, sore muscles, idiocy- NOTHING- can resist the medicinal purposes of a good old fashioned beer. Cheers!

Another exciting week in my world...

Another week almost over!

The weather has been persnickety, typical for the Northeast at this time of year but not particularly desirable for much of anything that pertains to life.

Despite the delightful and never ending deluge of snow/sleet/rain/all of the above mixed with any of the above I managed to get in a couple decent workouts.

Tuesday I donned the dreadful Easter Egg like outfit and hit the surprisingly dry roads for a quick little 3 miler. No problems on this run, 3 miles seems to be easy for my still recovering left hip flexor (stupid thing...)

Wednesday I discovered that my normal 6 mile route was more or less under a floodplain, which had turned into a skating rink of terror. A trek across that would be sure to lead to a broken hip, concussion, or significant blood loss for for yours truly... Yes, my coordination is well known across the countryside. After a bit of consideration I settled upon running back to my house after executing a hay collection errand on the other side of the infamous hill. I don't think that many people appreciate the magnitude of hills in my little town, they really provide a certain element of excitement/horror that a treadmill is not capable of. While the route I chose bypassed the worst of them it still left me with a series of rolling and somewhat icy and still occasionally steep terrain. A definite challenge to my slightly shredded hip flexor.... Not sure if it was the constant incline, the inability to freely move my left leg after mile 3 or the occasional (read: constant) need to prance across icy death cookies but I was feeling a touch whipped before I reached the end. Not "OMG I'm going to stop, die, vomit and drop the eff bomb" whipped but plain old sucky "that kicked my trash" whipped. Not my best effort but a solid 6.2 of HILLS at a decent pace.

Thursday was a "rest" day- I had planned it and the ultra rotten weather confirmed that I had chosen the correct day to stay off the roads. Of course, the weather continues to labor along in a rather offensive manner which might spell trouble for my sprint to the gym later today... But we'll see, where I live if you don't like the weather this minute it will give you something else (unpleasant) the next minute... Delightfully diabolical!

Time off tantrums

I just ran, suckers...

We'll see how that decision ends up treating this old lady! However, nothing about the run hurt and I was going stark raving mad times a million.

The thoughts running thru my head before just doing it: (doing it, and doing it, and doing it well......)
-I will never run again because I have forgotten how.
-I expect that I have a faulty spine. That's why my back feels funny.
-My legs no longer feel like they are attached to my body. WHY! (PANICS)
-No way will I ever be able to do .13 miles, much less 13.........
-I have gained 1.2 million pounds for sure and lost 100% of my muscles!!
-I hate everyone. EVERYONE.

It came to me that perhaps my legs felt odd because I had not run in a week. They do indeed feel better now and much more awake! And no lie, I had no issue other than I had absoultely forgotten how to run. I did a VERY easy 3 miles, it took about 11 hours to complete but why overdo it like an idiot douchebag on my first day back.

Good luck to me on feeling 100% ASAP. At the very least I am no longer as crabby, and realise that I might have been getting a touch emotional (and plan to go right back there STAT should things start circling the drain....)

Bad legs! Bad!

I imagine that we've all had those days....
The sun is shining, the rain washed away all the pesky snow, the stars are aligned perfectly for what you expect to be the best run ever!!! Then you get out there and suck, sucksucksuck. BOOOO!

An actual conversation that I had with my legs yesterday:
Me- HELLO? Anybody home down there? Because it feels like I'm running on concrete blocks, not legs.
Legs- Eff you dude.
Me- Seriously? After all I've done for you? You can woman up and get me around this 4.5 mile loop without such drama.
Legs- Nope... Don't think so. Maybe you can drop me off at the corner and I'll get a ride home.

That was the story of my day yesterday. Coming off 3 of the most stressful work days that I've had possibly ever things weren't working quite the way they should. I was so exhausted that I considered skipping my run altogether and sitting on my Mom's couch eating toast and whining. Alas, this was not an option as my Mom is not interested in my 31 year old whining (WHY?? MAN!!!)

In the long run, the run of torment helped me to feel better (which I knew going into it) and I then had a more productive afternoon than I had expected. (well. I knew it was going to be busy regardless- I just enjoyed it more.)

It's interesting to me that I notice body issues related to stress so much while running. I have been an athlete for years and have always been able to power thru any situation- broken tailbones, cracked ribs, busted noses, torn muscles, days of sleeplessness (weeks actually- I had whooping cough 3 years ago and after 3 weeks of being deathly ill I figures that I had been sleeping less than 1 hour per night. niiiiiice.) I have been able to overcome many obstacles and have rarely paid them any mind so you all can imagine my surprise that 3 days of work stress is so noticeable when I hit the road for a silly little run. Humph.

The good news? Things are looking up in the work department, the weather is going to be acceptable thru the weekend and I have a huge loaf of english muffin bread to eat for the next couple days. That alone is enough to make me feel like superwoman!

More moanings regarding the worthless weather...

It has been an interesting week around here in the running department.

When I was a kid I was somewhat outspoken regarding my likes and dislikes (in all areas.) Exhausted from the constant need to patrol my desire to vent my feelings, my Mom instructed me that the only acceptable thing to do was to say that something was "interesting" instead of the less PC horrendous, gag worthy, horrifying, appalling. You get the picture (not only of the kind of outspoken little bugger that I was but on the so called conditions here in the north East.)

I had several lovely runs around the (ahem) interesting weather last week including a 4.3 miler which was a snap. I headed out the next day for an easy run and the conditions were horrible- snow and ice on the road, people flying all over everywhere in their cars, complete chaos and bedlam. Not wishing to die I chose to head back in with barely 2 miles under my belt. But with my life and limbs fully intact... With better weather the following day I was thoroughly disgusted when I felt some distinct twinges from THE SHINNNN. Something about dodging, slipping and flailing on the ice the previous day had rattled some shiz loose in there and I know better than to go gallivanting around when there's trouble a-brewing. I'm back to feeling 100% now and the weather has taken (AGAIN) a tragic turn for the worse. It has not crept above 32 degrees in 3 days and it is alternating between schvitzing and schmucking out. Bad dark times....

I am looking around for a lightly used treadmill as I feel that my salvation from the impending winter depends on being able to run indoors. So far, no luck. I have found a couple in my general vicinity but from the looks of them they are from the early 80's and rather dilapidated despite being "lightly used." The search will continue as I try valiantly to squeak a few more runs out of mother nature/my local DOT.

I have a 4 miler on Turkey Day morning which I am looking forward too. I'm not looking to PR at this one and I'm genuinely fine with that (REALLY! really. Really??) It is a big race and the clusterfudge at the beginning really slows a gal down- and it's gun to finish, so the 20 minutes waiting to go thru the start do in fact count. It's a race that takes you on two loops of the downtown district of what we like to call our city- which is really a pretty place! I did this run with no practice last year with my sister and had a rip roaring good time, despite the fact that we were en route for close to 40 minutes (and I was sore as all hell for 3 days afterwards...) I know I'll do better than last year for sure, and I also know that I'm not as fit or as motivated as I was when I PR'd my 4 mile time back in July. Regardless people, running 4 miles gives anyone permission to pig out later on the day on the biggest eating Holiday known to man!

Hope that all of you out there in the interwebs have been lucking out with good weather and great runs- and a big thanks once more for the Birthday wishes!