Half Marathon Number SIX!

Unless I forgot to blog about some random race then today's little jaunt is number six on the list of Half's that I have run in 2012.

No idea how today is going to go, to be honest, I'm not feeling very fast right now so I estimate that a PR is out of the question. My guess based on recent 5K and 10K sprints which left me gasping like a beached whale lead me to the belief that 1:45 is attainable. I do not think that this will be the day to sub 1:40 AT ALL. And kids, I'm not sandbagging. When it comes to kicking ass at this distance speed work- and lots of it- is my friend. And speed work just re-entered my life after marathoning/shin shit/ foot shit/ long runs taking up my speed work time... Whoops!

I am looking forward to running today and hope to enjoy the race regardless of the outcome.

Let's recap the Half's I have done thus far:

#1: The Indoor Half, a PR at the time...

#2: Half At The Hampton's, not much to say...

#3: Quincy Half, a fairly weak effort.

#4: GBH: Killer PR plus I meet all of my favorite people!

#5: Maine Half: Great race with my favorite boy. Bad weather..

This is the worlds laziest post. And also reconfirms my feeling that this is gonna be a 1:45 kind of day.

How to train for a marathon like a BOSS: Part II

Part two of my expert series.

And I use the term expert in the most serious way possible because I am really the greatest EVER...

 

Yesterday we covered the fact that I chose hills/preparedness over speed for marathon training cycle round two (the modified, crappy, but much more fun version!)

 

I worked the hell out of the hills around here and could literally see my speed work declining. My stupid inflamed foot tendon was balky during speed work so all the more reason to skip the dreaded tempo runs!!! (yeah, I missed maybe two, total fail, obvs....)

 

At 11:30 on Sunday AM I made the excellent decision to go to the other side of town and run a 5K, just to see how the speed was holding up. (with 6 days to go until the Marathon my conclusion was that this was the very best way to kick off my taper!)

 

This was perhaps the best show of judgement ever since less than 24 hours before I had run 15.5 straight up a mountain. Yes, I'm smart, a bright girl indeed.

 

I kinda figured I'd shuffle along and head home with a 26 minute slog under my belt. However, my competitive nature and my desire to win a JUG of syrup kicked in and I ended up placing 2nd with a 21:51. Decent, for an old lady who has avoided speed work like one might avoid Ebola for the past few weeks!

 

I also dragged Eric and my Dad along and they were fast too. Just not as fast as I am, HAH!!

 

 

The syrup. The fashion. Be jealous!!!

I ate a LOT on candy corn post race and proceeded to feel very sick for a long time. As an expert runner I feel the need to warn people away from refueling with pure, straight up JENK food. I'm sure that this is a stunning revelation to most of you out there, I know it was for me!

In retrospect running this race was not a bad idea at all as my legs felt fine the next day and my morale was bolstered by my ability to still run a respectable 5k.

 

And yes lucky readers. More words of wisdom from yours truly tomorrow!
(don't count on this streak continuing. I only have so many smart things to say after all...)

How to train for a marathon like a boss!!!

You want to know how to train for a marathon like a BOSS do you??

Well, you have come to the right place then.

According to MDI (who clearly know ALL) since this is not my FIRST marathon then I AM AN EXPERT!!! (???)

Thank you guys, for recognizing my obvious prowess *ahem, ahem*

 

My training has been creative this time around.

Just getting back into a regular running schedule 5 or so weeks ago left little time for epic long runs of doom. I have squeezed in two successful 19 milers (good enough!!) but have concentrated on hills.

The only thing one hears about MDI is: "OMG the EFFING HILLS!!"

So, deciding that fast would not be a viable option this time around I'm just going for prepared.

 

Here are a couple of examples of my amazing hill running skills.

Or perhaps just fine examples of the hills in my town? Yes. that's more likely..

 

My 8 mile loop. FML.
 

15.5 Miles. OF PURE HELL! PURE HELL!!!!!!!

Sweet Baby Geezus!!!! Want to come run hills with me? It's fun, I promise (LIE! LIE!)
The good news for today is that with FIVE days left there will be very few mountains in my training plan for this week.
I'm getting a little excited. This is proof that my cheese has slid right off my cracker because no one in their right mind should be excited for an uphill marathon, right?
More suggestions for epic marathon training to come tomorrow!
(yes, I'm promising more than one post this week. which means that all posts will be terrible since my recent claim has been "quality over quantity") (or maybe I'm just a suck-o blogger?)

Today is the day... That I lose my Marathon Virginity!

Once upon a time, in a faraway land (called Waterford Maine) There lived a girl (that would be me!!) who was prone to making questionable life choices (specifically in the "running 1000 miles sounds like a GREAT idea" kind of choices...)

After running a few pretty solid Half's in early 2012 a wise decision was made that this would be the year of unbridled and amazing marathon success....

Little did the girl of odd running choices know what kind of long and twisted road she was about to embark on!

So what have I been doing for the past 18 weeks?

Let's take a walk down memory lane....

The decision was made to run said marathon right about here...
Great Bay, 2012.
Where our Big Pimpin attitudes were revealed to the world! Bwahahaha!

After GBH An epic training plan was selected and taken on with righteous indignation determination and mad skills!

Actually, the plan was taken quite seriously. Come rain, snow, sleet or hail, injuries, chaos, the plan was followed, adhered to and regarded with great reverence. (or a tiny bit of hatred. who really likes running 800's?) I found that doing "real life" stuff was simply out of the question. I was either running, planning to run, recovering from running, thinking about running or running some more.

It is amazing that my friends have stuck around thru this madness, I have been a very, very poor Friday night drinking buddy lately! I managed to run thru chaos, horrible weather, thunder, snow, 90 degree heat, at 4AM, after dark, when I was sick, when I was hurt, and when there were better things to be doing... (like WHAT? what could be better than running????)

This is what my Friday nights have consisted of for the past several months.
Running long, long miles and ending up at Angie's house.
Not to have fun, but to demand Gatorade, Advil and a ride home...
(damn, I'm a fun fun girl!)

During my long runs I have had plenty of time to think about what has brought me to this point. A lot of stuff happens over the course of such a long training plan (like, multiple seasons change. I have had several birthdays. the children I know who were in first grade at the start of this madness are now graduating college... oh time, where have you gone?) I hit 1,000 miles for the year sometime in late June... I wore out at least one pair of perfectly good shoes. I consumed endless quantaties of Gatorade (and yet still have not found a damn thing that I can eat mid run. you'd think 1,000 plus miles would have given me enough time to sort that mess out. no..)

I can't say that I've solved all of the worlds problems while pounding the pavement of the surrounding towns but I've certainly solved some of my own. As much as I sometimes hate running I'll give it full credit for my fantastic mental health (ok, there is no need to argue this point. I'm clearly a very stable and sane person. and awesome. and fast! and badass so don't mess....)

It's also inevitable that one will suffer from a series of horrible injuries when running 200 miles months.
Hopefully I'm healed enough to pull this off!

Running is a strange and twisted combo of being the hardest thing I have ever done and the easiest. In a way it is so simple to throw on your shoes and hit the street, simply putting one foot in front of the other. When I'm having a great day of running it honestly feels that easy and in those moments I remember why I continue to put up with this absurdity. At the other end of the scale, when I hit the wall at mile 20 and start to break in every possible way it takes a huge effort to talk myself into the fact that I can do this. But I can.... Because even when running feels like the most foolish and impossible thing that I've ever done I know that if I continue to put one foot in front of the other I will reach my destination no matter what.

How running makes me feel most of the time...
I hope I don't look like THIS later today...

It hasn't been easy, these past few months, but it has been good. I've followed a plan all the way through with only a couple bumps in the road. I am as ready as I can be.
What happens from mile 24 -or so- on is completely uncharted territory for me. I have no idea what my legs and my head are going to be doing at that point. What I do know, is that I'm as prepared as possible and what will be will be....
Do I have a plan for tomorrow? Plus a plan B? A back up plan in case things fail? And a plan for if things are awesome?
No.... I am going to take it one step at a time and simply remember to keep on trucking.
That is, after all, what I have been doing every day for the past 18 weeks.
What happens today happens, I have no excuses and I plan to throw it down, 100%.

This is how I HOPE to look around mile 25.
Huh. That's a big goal!!

So here I go, about to loose my marathon virginity to 26.2 miles of repetitive road, around some random lake in Wakefield Mass.

I hope that when all is said and done that I feel good about giving it my best effort (and I honestly hope that I do not break somewhere along the course, requiring rescue...)

This is it kids. This is what I've been working my ass off for, for 18 weeks. Blowing off my friends, making my family raise their eyebrows in horror while I basically lived, breathed, and dreamed about running. What am I going to think about at mile 20 when if the wheels come off my bus? The fact that after 18 weeks of running obsession I still have friends and family who love me and have stuck with me every step of the way, kicked my ass when I needed it, given me pep talks, picked me up, fed me, and reminded me that I can DO THIS!

Thanks you guys. There is nothing that I can't do with the kind of support that I have had. I'm a lucky girl and I certainly don't say thank you enough...

Here I come, 26.2 miles, you had better watch your back....

In which we kill our last long run.....

I'd like to say as early on as possible that the title of this post is a complete lie. I just did that to get your attention. In reality I should have used one of my other ideas...

A few possible titles for today's post:
In which our last long run kills us......
In which we learn that not all long runs are easy....
In which we narrowly avoid certain death....
In which we try to run for our lives and end up dying on the side of the road....

Do you see a pattern? Anyway, on to the good stuff.

I would imagine that one would hope, wish, pray, beg and negotiate with the running Gods that their last long run pre taper be a good one. I certainly know that I was at 4PM yesterday evening...

I can only hope that a bad dress rehearsal leads to a damn good show in the running world- if not, I'm screwed every which way until Friday. Or, late evening on the 27th of July....!

We had things like the weather working against us- it was 90. And humid. I know that I pregamed like a boss: steadily drinking water all day, smartly eating decent food beforehand, bringing my LARGE handheld and a stash of nasty GU. I talked myself into it big time- I was mentally as prepared as I could have been (despite a bit of complaining) and really thought that we might kill it.

So off I marched to meet up with Danielle at her house to take to the streets of Portland, Westbrook and beyond to dominate everyone and everything and to make running our bitch.

**that was the plan. seriously. game on. big pimpin style**

SO OFF WE WENT!

Despite the intense heat we both felt alright for the first 6 miles. No problems. Except that I totally ran out of water despite the huge bottle. Before mile 6... NOT a good sign...

Topics covered: All of Danielle's Marathon domination, her creepily clanking ankle, the bowl of milk at mile 0.04 that had my initials on it (ok. why won't THAT picture load?) our copious amounts of sweat and how the world is so lucky to have us. Which is a fact.

Emergency Water Stop NUMBER ONE!
Bottom line: There was NO WAY that we could keep up hydration given the amount we were sweating.
Thanks to Danielle's super cute Dad for the H20. Lifesaver...

We ran steadily, although with additional complaining inspirational words of motivation from miles 6-13 with another crisis water stop thrown in there somewhere. Right around the Half Marathon point we both started to come undone in a big way kill it, kill it, and run at a 6:30 pace, sprinting thru red lights and plowing over old people on Jazzy scooters and small children like it was our business...

Topics discussed at red lights which we hoped would last forever: How running sucks, how we literally could not run to save our lives, shark porn, potential vomiting, Oh, and I had to come to a full halt to watch a plane land. Yes I am very cool. We kept shouting things at each other: UGH! DAMMIT! FUCK! I HATE THIS AND I HATE YOU!!! (oops sorry) being the most popular.

I have no idea how we managed to get to mile 22. No. Idea. From mile 13 and on both of us could not have hated life more. I have to give my legs a tiny bit of cred for having (maybe) one decent mile in there. ONE! UGH!

We stopped at Dunks for emergency ice water which I proceeded to plunge many body parts into my cup and basically rub the ice all over myself. In the middle of the store. It was very, very sexy. NOT.

Topics covered: How not to behave in public, how to get sponsored by an amazing running clothing store (um, by behaving better in public perhaps?) How Danielle should push me home in a shopping cart, how neither of us would notice or mind if the other one peed in her shorts- but how the each of us would mind the feeling of having urine soaked shorts.

OMG. We are so awesome.

At the end of the run we had to sneak in something silly like 0.3 miles, which we did by running around and around and around at the end of a road, making airplane arms on the turns. WHY!!? Why.... Oh right, because we are awesome.

Topics Covered by my inner monologue in the last 1 mile: I CAN NOT TAKE ONE MORE STEP. (but could I run 4 more miles if I absolutely needed to.....? yes. but they would EFFING HURT!)

And the normal stuff like;  I wonder if I'm going to throw up? dammit my feet are killing me, how does Danielle's hair manage to look so good after all that??, my clothes are so sweaty that I feel like I have been swimming, are we done? NO.. Are we DONE? NO!!! Are We Done....?? YES....

Holy crapola kids, we look freaking amazing in this picture.
This is why hot running clothes companies should send us merch to pimp...
22 miles of death and still rocking the fashion!
As good as we looked I don't think either of us felt very well.......

Because this happened.
Dead.
Hate Life.
But we are still sexy.

Danielle announced that she was going to drink so much water that she would probably throw up.
I suggested sitting in an ice bath and drinking it thru a straw. Then I was grossed out.
She lay down to die.
I sat down to focus on imminent death and or violent hurling.

I left to die alone and then this happened.

The aftermath: I awoke this morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck and run over several times. The Plan called for 6 recovery miles and I had to call it a day at mile 4 because I was a complete strugglebus. I might have cried.

Luckily 4 bottles of water and a fistful of Advil later I had improved somewhat.

I got a text from Danielle, who basically NEVER feels pain saying that she was still iffy too. I was glad that I wasn't alone in my anguish (although by 2 PM she was texting me to man the eff up and eat some ice cream. dude, I'm lactose intolerant...come on.... :-))

I like this text very much.
We are totally talking ourselves into it, HAH!!

So at this point that's it. Taper time is here and what's done is done. Both of us have made it to this point with only a few bouts of hysteria (mostly mine...) a few broken legs (mostly mine...) and a bunch of man the eff up texts (mostly Danielle's to me....)

19 days... OMG.

Bridgton 4 on the 4th: A race of awesomeness!

This might have been the best race day EVER!
There is no better way to spend a national holiday than getting up at the asscrack of dawn to run a few miles as quickly as humanly possible. I actually mean this, which should come as no great shock to those of you that are familiar with me and my crazy.
I was pretty excited about this years race as a group of us were going to run, and dominate, obviously, at a variety of speeds.
I was nervous and had butterflies threatening to make me vomit due to the fact that I was determined to meet a couple of serious goals.
1) Sub 30. If I did not meet this goal I would have hung up my running shoes and crawled under a rock like a troll, never to come out again.
(yes. I know that trolls live under bridges. I would have just been an especially anti social troll, OK?)
2) Manage to place in the top 10 women. This was a lofty goal and I was absolutely convinced that it was fairly unattainable.

Kate, Angie, Eric, ME, Casey, Sue and Dan.
Our excellent cheering squad of my parents, Kate and Angie's husbands and Angie's Dad took pics, cheered us on and stood in the 58 degree rain for quite some time. We love you guys!!!
PS: Take a moment to admire the various socks. BIG PIMPIN'.

We all managed to get there on time, because we are very organized.

We all looked really, really good because style is the name of the game.

It was determined that we all had varying race plans so we split up, high fived, trash talked and got on with business.

I made a small error and ran the first mile in 6:10. Oops. Excited. I shouted "CALM DOWN STUPID WOMAN" at myself . After 400 weeks of dealing with my stupid shin shit I was pleased to notice that I did not notice it. Apparently sprinting like a complete tool doesn't pain it but running slowly and logically does. WHATEVER.

I did rein it in a little but kept up a decent pace throughout. I chased down two girls and a bunch of guys and just tried to stay with the front-ish of the pack people. It rained enough to make me not notice the copious amounts of sweat cascading down my body, which was nice. It also rained enough to make me want to hurry to the finish which was excellent motivation.

Overall, I pushed as hard as I damn could and hated my life a little bit but not as much as I sometimes do. Which can be a very, very lot...

WOW. PAIN FACE. I'm cranking. Totally going to chick those boys.

I cruised thru the finish in 26:53. Goal completed. Balls to the effing walls. I totally wanted to dry heave everywhere was cool as a cucumber, (but got my shit together) quickly enough to find my Dad and see Eric run thru the finish in just over 30:00. The blue argyle socks were easy to spot in a crowd of boring dressers....

Both of us ran back to track the rest of the crew down.

We saw Sue power for the finish and cross the line in 35:48- in her FIRST RACE EVER!!

We totally missed Kate in her bedazzled top who ran in in 36:46 despite the fact that she got cut off at mile 1 and badly twisted her knee...

Somehow we also missed Casey and Dan who finished right around the 38 minute mark. (this is very impressive for Miss Casey as she kind of hates running. silly child!)

We DID see Angie though, who beat her goal of 45:00 by a LOT and finished like a boss on 41:18!

It was a hell of a good day for all of us.

I did manage to meet my top 10 goal as well, with a 4th place overall woman's finish. Dear Mizuno, I am a legit scary runner, please sponsor my feet and send me some sweet new kicks!

So overall it was a damn good day on the racing front. Everybody beat their time goal, nobody threw up and then we all went home to ice our legs, sit around in compression socks and demand to be waited on and to be fed PB&J's. Oh that was only me? Whoops....

Look at lucky Eric. Big Pimpin with all the cute ladies...
We all look pretty damn good for running so fast.!!
It's ok to hate all of us for our undeniable good looks, fashion and fabulocity...!

202 Miles. Big Pimpin'.

I ran 202 miles in June. UGH!!!!!!!!!

Highest mileage month ever, beating out May which was 194 and at that time was a HUGE month for me by many, many miles..

When I run that many miles I start getting perma-pain face as seen in following picture.

It seems that this is my perma expression while running, due to the fact that I am in a bit of pain, and am also a little tired. Luckily, my amazing outfit destracts from the agonized grimace upon my face.

Luckily as well, I don't look like that in real life. I am afflicted with IRL permagrin, so there...!

Perma Pain. OUCH.
But I'm flying, holy crap!

Officially counting down (in terror) to the marathon on the 27th.
I have one more long run this coming weekend and then I start backing off on the mileage.
If I was not so cool, hip, amazing and big pimpin I would be scared shitless. Luckily I am all those things so I'm relaxed, calm. collected and dismissive. HAH! LIES!

I'm running a 4 mile race on the 4th with a great group of people who can plan to eat my dust :-)
I kid, I kid! Sort of... Hoping to lay the smack down and set a course PR for myself. We shall see!

In which I go on Vacation.

So last Thursday I ran that super speedy 5K and snagged another worlds worst pic. Look at my race number flapping all around crazy. The pin ripped out in the first mile and it was mayhem from then on. Man, I am an attractive and friendly looking lady..

Hey- you who keeps tagging these on Facebook! Oh, you know who you are...
We might be fighting. There will be payback.
Ok I'm not mad anymore. But GAHD, my running pics suck...

Then last Friday I ran 22 miles over hill and dale, on a fairly warm day and was actually very pleased with the whole run. It took a while- I think it was about 3:06, I drank 5 bottles of water and was given Cheetos at mile 12 by a friend who lives on my route (thanks Pat & Cassie!!) Those Cheetos made me happier than they should have... But, I felt good. Good mindset. Moderately crappy left shin/calf but that's the story of my life right now. Honestly though- it was my best long yet and I'd like to wrap it up and put it in my pocket. That wouldn't be awkward or anything..

I think I managed 51 miles for the week. 

After all that it was time to go on Vacation with my sis and BFF!!

We went to Sarasota and were very, very excited.

We were NOT excited to get up at 3 AM and the following texts reflect on what happenes to us when we have an ass early flight.  

Oh I'm sorry, We are 12. Or maybe 5...



I got up to run early every day, and saw this. And this is good.
All my running sucked though.
My running sucked worse than it has in YEARS!!!!
Thank heavens for low mileage weeks.

Thank heavens that after crap running there was THIS!
We went to the beach EVERY DAY!
We sat on the sand and looked at the lifeguards.
Winning. At. Life.

I'm a dork and I wear dorky hats.
So what.
And big orange earrings (only in Florida!!)

This pretty much says it.
Kickass vacation with kickass people.

IT HAPPENED!!!

SUB FREAKING TWENTY BABY!!!!!!

By the skin of my teeth- in 19:59 but I WILL TAKE IT!!!

And this, after several epic declarations that there would be NO PR on this particular evening. Instead of my "normal" Wednesday 5K My Sister and I did the Twilight 5K. Bottom line, it's a great race and we have had several family members and close friends loose their battles with cancer in the past two years so supporting this cause means a lot to us.

But. It's a twisty, winding, narrow course with a freak staircase and a couple little hills. More of a challenge than scampering around back cove... Not PR friendly when you're chasing a fast time.

Before. Looking bright and non sweaty!

This was my sister's FIRST race since we ran that 4 miler together years ago. Since then she has had a pretty horrible series of back problems and has only just been able to return to running. So this was a big exciting day!

Bottom line, I had a good run. Not much more to say about that. I ran under the clock in 19:32 and since I started at the front of the pack I can't figure out where those extra seconds came from but who cares. It hardly shattered my Olympic non-dreams.

After I finished I ran back a ways and found the Sis who was still looking strong! We cruised along and she finished really well in just over 29:00- and since sub 30 was her goal she nailed it!



After: Looking bright and sweaty!

We should have stuck around for awards because I ended up being the 3rd overall woman and winning my age group. And, even better for my competitive nature, I snagged a top 10 overall placing with an 8th place finish. Um, hello? Who is this speed demon??

So definitely a solid race for both of us. I finally snagged the elusive sub 20 which makes me feel pretty legit. Not to mention the fact that I clearly looked super good doing it in my subtle and neutral outfit (look at us. it's like a genetic thing??) I'd say that my Sis is going to be afflicted with race-itis now that she's back into it and will be giving me a run for my money in the near future. We had fun!

Anyway... We drank a beer. High fived several times. Got chilly. And left to eat the biggest dinner ever because that's how we roll... The End.

In which crazy people do crazy things...

Where to even begin with all this madness??

After weeks of battling thru my long runs alone I was pretty damn pumped when my Big Pimpin Friend Danielle suggested that we slog thru 24 hellacious miles of torment together along with Sarah, the crazy ultramarathoner (in training...)

I was invited to crash her in-laws dinner party and since I'm always trolling for people to feed me I was absurdely excited. Also, Danielle's family is straight up fun.

There might have been some whiskey passed around.

Several times.

Oops...

But I digress. After teaching Chips the cat to do some amazing tricks (fail) and eating more dinner than I have in months (WIN) and then chasing the cat out from under the bed (tricky) dealing with a huge thunderstorm (scary) we went to sleep.

Oh, and after giggling, having pillow fights, jello wrestling, whatever else runner girls do on a sleep over (or not...)

The alarm went off and we saw this.
I think FML was the phrase of the hour.

We were very excited and thrilled to be hitting the road at 4AM. I might be stretching the truth just a little here. From the couch, Danielle's husband (who clearly has more logic than we do) might have questioned our sanity but we dismissed him quickly and went scampering off into the darkness.

So, after running for about 12 hours the sun came up and it was really gorgeous. Yay!

The three of us ran 8 or so miles and picked up Eric (how do you pick up a another runner? you kind of run by them and they sneak into your group. it works) He ran a few with us and then took off leaving us all in his dust... Jeesh... And I believe he had finished, eaten a few meals, biked 100 miles and conquered the world before we were even done. GAHD, I need to go back to normal person mileage! But I digress.

We ran for 34,987 hours and I discovered that Sarah keeps a whole days worth of food in her camelback. It was pretty damn amazing. She had a whole thanksgiving dinner in there plus a 12 pack of ice cold diet coke and she kept whipping it out and chowing down. Way to go there lady, I need you to follow me around and feed me from now on!

At mile 134 (or 18) Danielle had to run back home because she had real life stuff to do. She sprinted the last two miles at a 6:40 pace, putting us to shame. She might disagree with this but it's the truth...

8 miles to go and things were ok. 2 miles to go and the wheels fell off my bus. I am so horrified by the complete deterioration of my physical state that I don't wish to recall it because it's blowing my confidence all to hell. Bottom line, I was DONE. My legs were good but my vomiting-on-my-shoes reflex was definitely making its presence known and it sucked major balls. UGH.

Completely depleted I staggered incoherently back to Danielle's house, looking like my face had been eaten by zombies. I sat on her couch for 20 minutes and stared at her cat before I could even form a logical thought.

EFF THIS, was the first thing that came to mind..

UGH. I'm glad I have another 5 weeks or so because I have some serious work to do.

And Sarah, fresh as a daisy continued to run and completed a full marathon.

Dude, way to go (you are officially big pimpin to the max!)

Anyway. The next Day.

All was forgotten and I felt fine in the wake of my humbling attempt at distance running.

I managed to talk Angie into doing my recovery 5 with me. She's been doing a killer job at upping her mileage so this was a long run for her. She kind of hated it and we might no longer be friends. I kinda shouted at her for 3 straight miles to "Keep going, damnit!!!" Haha!

Looking good, per the norm.

Yesterday I felt good enough to take my legs out and tackle 13 hilly miles which, compared to 24, felt like a walk in the park. Funny how it's all relative like that...

So in conclusion:

-Runners sleepovers: Fun!

-Running 24: Not as fun....

Being done with 24?: Awesome...

Thinking about doing it again: Not as awesome...

My current confidence level for this upcoming Marathon: Fairly poor... Uh oh...

In which we learn that 22.8 miles is long & hard...

Continuing on in a VERY Big Pimpin' Training plan manner I trundled on out on Friday afternoon to sneak in a 22 miler.

I'm not sure if one really "sneaks in" a 22 miler, being that it takes up a big chunk of the day, requires a certain amount of strategic planning and pre hydration nonsense. We all know that my "strategic planning" consists of items such as: "Can I take cookies?" "Why is my handheld leaking and do I care?" "what is the appropriate number sunblock for my ghastly ghost pale skin? and "who will give me beer when I am done??" When I had reasonable answers to those pressing questions I headed out. 

The Route. 22.8, please take note.

Unfortunately I had a few issues from the get go which made the run less than spectacular. I still have so much trouble hydrating on the go because I get a horrible side stitch that creeps its way up into my ribs. Very distracting ans usually results in feelings of anger. My handheld was leaking like CRAZY which baffled me- but honestly wasn't the only reason that I ran out of fluids at mile 8. (I was the other culprit for drinking, duh...)

Basically around mile 8 I realized that it was NOT going to be an easy run. At this point my legs were already feeling fairly crappy- which is really, really unusual as 8 is pretty much like a rest day. Complete strugglebus, UGH!  I was afraid that an epic mental breakdown was moments away... I really sucked it up and told my brain to eff off. So I took some mental notes of amusing things that happened...

Let's review:

-Got honked at A LOT. I have decided to deal with the shenanigans and play it up by showboating. World, you are welcome for all the awesomeness that I bring to the road Ahem.

-Some guy did a wheelie on his motorcycle RIGHT IN FRONT of me going about 180 MPH. I was scared and hence, not impressed. I don't think this falls in the category of "how to impress me" anyway. How TO impress me is a story for another day.

-I helped push a broken down car out of the street. Cross training??

-Got chased by a dog. AGAIN. Not cool...

-At mile 14 sent some texts. This was a good idea. Always good to get moral support from a friend (who just happen to be in a tub of ice) to push thru the pain and agony! Win!

-Ran into Angie's house at mile 18 to get a drink. And tell her that I was hurting and possibly going to hurl. FAIL!

 And now, all together, let's take note of the fact that I am clearly violently against posting pictures of myself that are anything less than horrifying. It makes me laugh.


After putting in the final 4.8 (and did I ever hate that 0.8) I face planted in her lawn.
I. WAS. DONE! 22.8. In the books...

Despite the general agony of the day and not feeling so great AND trying to go slow my pace was still 8:30. After drinking a giant bottle of water and eating an entire sleeve of crackers I felt better.

And had a beer. Thank you.

It took a few minutes to get up.
I said the eff word VERY MANY times.
Because when prone on the lawn why wouldn't one drop righteous F-bombs?

I went home and threw on my sexiest socks.
Then put legs up a wall, then in a bucket of ice.
Because that is what cool people do on a Friday night.

I'm glad that I got another long run in and didn't expire in the process. I'm pleased that my head space didn't take a horrible turn towards "OMG I SUCK I'm GONNA DIE I HATE EVERYTHING" for more than an hour or two a minute. I'm thrilled that my fashion is fab enough to inspire many people to whoot and honk at me... And I'm glad that I didn't get run over by that tool on his motorcycle.

The End.

Fast 5k. Worst picture EVER.

I ran a 5K on Wednesday because I love 5K's like fat kids love cake because I need some kinda speed work other than the TRACK. 5K's keep me honest because you just can't be a lazy sloth at all, you have to man up and run like hell unless you want to get last. And I do not want to get last..

Basically when I run a 5K I'm SO scared of finishing in last place that I run balls to the fricking walls the whole time. This used to make me want to vom but I have more or less grown used to the torment. I won't go as far to say that I love it, but it's only 3 miles and what could happen?

Just a little Portland race on a pretty nice evening.

I had not had the very best most magical day and needed a solid run to cheer me up.

And we all know then when angsty I run like hell.

And run like hell I DID... And did NOT look pretty doing it (see below for proof)

I finished 12th overall and was the 2nd place woman.

With a 20:54. PR!

This picture says "I hate this and I hate you!"
Gahd I look like hell.
Why am I alone here?? Um, look at how scary I look THAT'S WHY!
I need to leave that angry face at HOME!
(or not, since intimidating might be my middle name? hah!)

Time to attack the track with my BFF!

If you had told me a year ago that I would be spending an evening running at the high school track with my BFF I would have laughed in your face. YOUR FACE!!!

"A highly improbable situation" I would have said with derision...

So imagine my shock when I found myself with a date at the track with none other than the BFF last Friday night! (note to self: next time you have a 25k trail race don't run 8x800's 36 hours before.. oh well)

I ran 800's and she just ran like normal people.

I usually really hate speed repeats. I didn't feel too hateful towards them this time. Maybe because I am slow and sad...? Maybe because I have just gotten over it? Maybe because it was only 62 degrees out? Who knows!

Yes. She is at the track!!
And then she ran on it too and set a PR for her 5k :-)

It was not busy at the track...

After I had run a few repeats I noticed a few High School kids who looked aghast standing next to the track. They hollered at me so I shuffled over to see what they wanted. "What School do you run for??" They exclaimed frantically. "Um, I'm 32 dudes..." I deadpanned... "OH PHEW" they cried "We didn't know who you were and we don't want to have to run against you!" As I reflected on the challenged state of our local track team I wasn't sure if I should take too much stock in this... But thanks for thinking that I looked to be High School age (um. or no thanks. could go either way on this one.)

Editing photos is always the right choice.
My arms look crazy...

This was in my last 800 and I can't even tell you how much I hated life.
Look at my face and you will feel the hatred...
I said to BFF "I might puke" She said "PLEASE don't!" I didn't.
This is a horrible picture. Why do I put such things on the interwebs?

It really wasn't a bad workout at all. I did a total of 8 miles what with warm up and stuff and felt ok about my sluggish speed. I don't have much to base this on as I've either done mile repeats (SUCKY) or 400's in the past (which I lost the times for...)

Here's how it looked. I have no idea if these are good. I know I won't make the Olympic team this year, and here I had my heart set on that... Ahem.

1- 3:10
2- 3:08
3- 2:58
4-2:57
5-2:57
6- 2:56
7- 3:05
8-3:00

If nothing else my BFF was very impressed which made me feel cool and then she ran a cool down mile with me after her solid 5k effort. I'm pretty damn proud of her. She has gotten hooked and I love to see somebody enjoying my fav hobby too :-) She's also making a ton of smart life choices (I could take a page out of her book...) and finding that running is a really good addition to smart-adult-life-choice world. Again, I'm seriously, seriously proud of her!

And on that note, I have a feeling that there are more track workouts in our future!

(Just. Not. Today!)

Pre- Pineland 25k Problems

Very excited for the Pineland 25K Trail Race of insanity/doom this coming Sunday.
Excited crossed with dread, at the very real possibility that I might fall down and render myself incapacitated.
My goals for this race are simple:
1- Show up on time for a change
2- Finish with all limbs intact
3- Maybe run faster than a 27 minute mile. Maybe not as trail running sounds borderline impossible.
4- To bring weather appropriate attire so that I do not have to steal another persons clothing. AHEM.

This week, post epic 52 mile week last week has been ok. Seems that summer has arrived with vengance and adjusting to the warmth and 90% (no lie) humidity always takes a few days. And those few days haven't quite happened yet...
I was running innocently enough on Thursday night when I took the stupidest step and rolled my ankle right over and toppled head first into oncoming traffic I mean a ditch. I said the F word several times and felt justified doing so.

After running 9 more miles post ankle twist I tried this first

And resorted to this... BLAH!

The good news is that all that damn ice must have done something good. In the dead of the night my ankle made a little creepy "POP" and felt much better. It was weird, icky and a relief all at the same time.
So. Onto an epic weekend. Injury free perhaps? Filled with all things Big Pimpin, clearly.

TWENTY! Big Pimpin Style...

I must admit that the best long runs for me are often unplanned. Indeed, I had planned for this run to be in the long-ish category but had no plans of doing my longest run ever on this particular day.

However, according to my training plan it was high time to crack out a 20, and since I hope to not end up disgraced at my first Marathon I knew it had to happen.

And happen it DID!

I headed out for a run late Thursday afternoon with the plan to run several towns over to my BFF's house! Running directly there would have been just a hair over 13 miles, over a mountain (as you can see) and then into the relatively flat area several towns over. I pretty much ran thru my town, skipped into Harrison, sprinted into Otisfield, put a toe into Norway, Saw the other side of Otisfield and finally made it to the booming metropolis of Oxford. Where I discovered that I still had daylight and was feeling oddly, weirdly GREAT casually tapped out a few bonus miles to make it an even 2-0.

And if prancing in a leisurely fashion across the 20 mile mark isn't straight up obnoxious that I don't know what is? 

I do not have twenty fingers so BFF helped out!

Nothing says friendship like being handed a HUGE glass of room temp water as soon as I crossed the threshold to her house. (totally serious here. lukewarm water and I are besties.) I felt pretty damn good, which is also obnoxious... She gave me a ride home (yay!) and I'm sure at that point I should have taken an ice bath, put on compression socks, refueled with chocolate milk, foamrolled, stretched and sung a n 80's power ballad. I did none of those things... I double fisted a beer and a Gatorade. I had a taco. And jumped into the shower because I was freezing and disgusting. Also, I felt fine the next day proving that recovering in a legit was is overrated..

Must admit, I'm feeling a little proud over here.

Also- little blog housekeeping note. "anonymous" users can now comment... Don't be an anonymous d-bag, OK?? :-) I know that some friends/fam want to comment though without the hassle of an account and now you can!

Big Pimpin': how to dress to get catcalled...?

After last week's long, long run of 18 (which I managed despite the fact that it was just. so. hard. that's what she said... ohhh...) I was glad that for this week and next week the long runs are shorter. I was supposed to do 10 but my weekly mileage looked like such pathetic shiz that I added 3 in order to feel legit. It was a much better run than last week.
Honestly, this week was only so-so. I thought my mileage was a little low and I struggled a bit like a lame, old, out of shape, emphysemic woman. **sigh** But I got it done.

First sunny day since 1979!
Per the norm the first 10 were easy as pie...
Avert your eyes from the ghastly pale I mean dead sexy legs. I shouldn't be let out in public...!

The last 3 honestly weren't bad either other than my toe started gushing blood.
Nice...
Nothing says "fun" like a hemorrhaging toe...

In the course of 13 miles I got "whoo-whoo'd' multiple times.
I can only imagine that it was done in jest, come on people!!!
I know I bring an unprecedented level of hot but...
Whatevs. It's the sparkly shorts. Or the odd knee muscles that I didn't know I had?
I like my slight expression of horror in this pic. Daayum, I am the coolest....