Monday, June 4, 2012

In which we learn that 22.8 miles is long & hard...

Continuing on in a VERY Big Pimpin' Training plan manner I trundled on out on Friday afternoon to sneak in a 22 miler.

I'm not sure if one really "sneaks in" a 22 miler, being that it takes up a big chunk of the day, requires a certain amount of strategic planning and pre hydration nonsense. We all know that my "strategic planning" consists of items such as: "Can I take cookies?" "Why is my handheld leaking and do I care?" "what is the appropriate number sunblock for my ghastly ghost pale skin? and "who will give me beer when I am done??" When I had reasonable answers to those pressing questions I headed out. 

The Route. 22.8, please take note.

Unfortunately I had a few issues from the get go which made the run less than spectacular. I still have so much trouble hydrating on the go because I get a horrible side stitch that creeps its way up into my ribs. Very distracting ans usually results in feelings of anger. My handheld was leaking like CRAZY which baffled me- but honestly wasn't the only reason that I ran out of fluids at mile 8. (I was the other culprit for drinking, duh...)
Basically around mile 8 I realized that it was NOT going to be an easy run. At this point my legs were already feeling fairly crappy- which is really, really unusual as 8 is pretty much like a rest day. Complete strugglebus, UGH!  I was afraid that an epic mental breakdown was moments away... I really sucked it up and told my brain to eff off. So I took some mental notes of amusing things that happened...
Let's review:

-Got honked at A LOT. I have decided to deal with the shenanigans and play it up by showboating. World, you are welcome for all the awesomeness that I bring to the road Ahem.
-Some guy did a wheelie on his motorcycle RIGHT IN FRONT of me going about 180 MPH. I was scared and hence, not impressed. I don't think this falls in the category of "how to impress me" anyway. How TO impress me is a story for another day.
-I helped push a broken down car out of the street. Cross training??
-Got chased by a dog. AGAIN. Not cool...
-At mile 14 sent some texts. This was a good idea. Always good to get moral support from a friend (who just happen to be in a tub of ice) to push thru the pain and agony! Win!
-Ran into Angie's house at mile 18 to get a drink. And tell her that I was hurting and possibly going to hurl. FAIL!
 And now, all together, let's take note of the fact that I am clearly violently against posting pictures of myself that are anything less than horrifying. It makes me laugh.

After putting in the final 4.8 (and did I ever hate that 0.8) I face planted in her lawn.
I. WAS. DONE! 22.8. In the books...

Despite the general agony of the day and not feeling so great AND trying to go slow my pace was still 8:30. After drinking a giant bottle of water and eating an entire sleeve of crackers I felt better.
And had a beer. Thank you.

It took a few minutes to get up.
I said the eff word VERY MANY times.
Because when prone on the lawn why wouldn't one drop righteous F-bombs?

I went home and threw on my sexiest socks.
Then put legs up a wall, then in a bucket of ice.
Because that is what cool people do on a Friday night.

I'm glad that I got another long run in and didn't expire in the process. I'm pleased that my head space didn't take a horrible turn towards "OMG I SUCK I'm GONNA DIE I HATE EVERYTHING" for more than an hour or two a minute. I'm thrilled that my fashion is fab enough to inspire many people to whoot and honk at me... And I'm glad that I didn't get run over by that tool on his motorcycle.
The End.


  1. When I trained for my first marathon, after a particularly long training run, I threw myself onto a bit of grass on the side of the road next to my car.

    Two different cars pulled over to ask if I was okay. I guess they thought I had been hit by a car? I don't know.

    I really wanted to stay on the grass, but having people be so concerned about me was mortifying, so I had to crawl inside my car and drive home instead.

  2. Does your toenail polish match your calf sleeves? I've been wanting to invest in a pair of Zensah sleeves because their colors are so awesome. Maybe some day. :) Congrats on a great 22.8 miler!!

    1. Oh yes it does. The absolute height of fashion for a runner, isn't it?!
      And thanks- it was a long one..

    2. If we have toe nails, they should match at least some part of our outfit, right? :)

  3. You are a beast lady! Nice run! And seriously who gets through that many miles without collapsing like that? Except I usually collapse right into the bakery at Whole Foods. :)

  4. You pushed through some very hard things and finished and I do bet the .8 was bad! The pushing of the car was absolutely cross training. You are rugged.

  5. Do not look directly at the white girl... Please use your protective sunglasses if you need to look directly at her... ;-)

  6. My farmer tan is pretty spectacular! Lots of freckles, too. You rock!! Feeling crappy at mile 8 and managing to get to 22.8? Huh? Christ. Drink another beer!

  7. "in which we learn that 22.8 miles is long and hard" - I could have jumped to the conclusion without doing the run. Do I win anything for that? no? drat!

  8. That is amazing! You did great and I would still be lying in that grass now! Love the leg sleeves as well!