Here it is! What you have all been waiting for! My official Half at The Hamptons race report.
Sorry this is a day late and a dollar short, Mr. Middleaged and I took a trip to Boston yesterday to freeze just a little bit more, look at the penguins at the Aquarium but most importantly to see David Gray in concert for the unpteenth time. One can never have enough of a good thing and this was the first stop on this particular tour so it was kind of a big deal. We are super fans!
Anyway! This is a running blog so on to what keeps you guys coming back for more....
Saturday was so windy that it was ridiculous. I told the Huz that if the wind kept up at that absurd rate for Sunday that running would be next thing to impossible. He and my helpful Dad assured me that not only was the wind goiung to die down but that the temps would climb to 30 for sure- once I saw their hairbrained theory backed up by meteorlogical excellence on TV I relaxed and took their word for it.
Well THAT was a mistake. We left town at 6 AM and shoot, if it wasn't 9 degrees with the wind gusting at 45 MPH (I have a wind gauge, I am a GEEK.) I decided that FOR SURE things would be better on the coast since we all know that it is never windy near the ocean. All together now: HA. HA.
By the time we arrived in the desolate snow covered frozen solid wasteland of Hampton the temp was up to a primising 12 degrees. Thank heavens the wind was making up for the balmy temps and keeping the heat wave to a minimum, with that kind of increase in temps I was worried about heat stroke or similar.
Went in. Registered. Ate Fig Newtons. Listened to the race management apologise about the weather over and over and promise that if people couldn't stand it that a sweep vehicle would pick them up promptly and bring them back to safety. That wasn't scary or anything.
Got dressesd. Looked hot, per the norm. Wondered how the wind would affect the outcome of the whole situation.... Decided that I didn't care but wondered if I would need to be rescued by the paramedics after my feet froze to the ground.
As you can see from this picture I was feeling a bit worried about the whole shebang.We all lined up in the gusting winds (but beautiful sun!) and BANG. Off we went. It occured to me that perhaps I'd stick with the 8:30 pace group but I lost them in the crowd because I was fighting so hard to run against the wind. Luckily, after the first 5K or so we came into a more sheltered area and the winds lightened up... It was rough!
I suffered from the coldest feet ever for about 4 miles but decided that it was a bit of a blessing because I could not feel my warts! Whoopie fricking doooo!
I felt good from the start despite the cold stupidity. What can you do, right? And running is a great way to warm up so off I went like the effing wind (haha. into the wind is more like it...)
Felt strong all the way to mile 6 then evaluated my condition to see if I was circling the drain. I was NOT, things were feeling pretty darn good at that point so I opted to continue on and not break my rhythm. I did throw a shot blok into my face at this point (I might not have mentioned that I chose these because they are easy to chew.) what did I find? The little sucker was frozen SOLID. I had to suck on it for about 10 minutes before I could get it down- ewwwww! I threw the rest of them down my pants and that really helped me to eat the remaining ones with much less difficulty. Meaning that they thawed.
After the 6 mile point the miles flew by so fast that I was a touch baffled. I had, for sure, picked up the pace a bit- my legs were cooperating wonderfully and I knew by mile 8 that I had it in the bag. Ummm, yeah. this was a good feeling.
Right around mile 10 I felt a little pull in my left hip flexor and "pop" ouch! I hip hoppidied along for a bit (refusing to stop, almost there after all) and it loosened up a bit but plauged me tremendously for the remainder of the race. This is when my mantras of excellence came into play in a big way. "You're almost there, idiot, keep moving your stupid legs!!" "Run, you stupid shit. You didn't run 100,000 miles to cry like a bitch at mile 11!!!!" were the thoughts running thru my head. Need a little motivation friends? You can arrange to have me come to your house and shout at you for a small fee and a slice of pie.
Despite the pain I had enough gas in the tank to really kick it up during the last 2 miles. I found and passed the 8:30 pace group (I told the pacer that I had been looking for him so that I could catch him and pass him...) I also passed about 56 people in the last mile. HAHAHA.
About to come thru the finish. Look at that huge snowbank! Look at my fashion! look at my "pain" face! I need a haircut! 
DONE! Thank heavens! I have a hole in my arm sock!Why do my cheeks look so chubby?
I was able to find The Huz really quick at the finish and celebrate my Excellence In Running. He was quite pleased that I had beaten my goal time because he was getting really cold and sick of hanging about in boring Hampton. Understandable. I felt good except for the pulled hip flexor which hurt like a screaming beeyotch. (I later threw a huge bag of ice on it- which leaked all over me making me look like I had peed my pants. ooops!) We finished up by saying hello to a few people that we knew and then grabbing an excellent beer. We love beer....
Beer! The ONLY way to rehydrate!
So! I managed to finish in a good time with 51 days of "training", no runs over 12 miles, 8 unscheduled days off and a Taper Tantrum for the ages. And I must say.... I CAN NOT WAIT to DO IT AGAIN!!!
Edited: Pleased to see that my 1:48:54 time placed me 13th in my age group. There is no denying that 30 something women are scary fast. And there were well over 100 ladies in my age division. Go me!
Sunday: 13.1 bitches!!
Monday: Boston, Wang Theater (she said wang. hehehe.)
To see David Gray! My favorite. Love the guy.
Tuesday: To New Jersey to buy myself a magical new horse! He's gorgeous, isn't he??!!
