Sunday, April 8, 2012

Great Bay Half Marathon!!

Clearly this picture is worth 1,000 words because simple verbiage could not do justice to the EPIC fashion that we Mainers display. Thanks to the Danielle from Ooh Breathe, Just Breathe for hooking me up with the layers. Cos man, it was damn cold at the end of that race!

OK. For those of you who just want to stop reading now and move on with your Easter Sunday here it is:
My OFFICIAL TIME for the dreaded GBH: 1:36:40
115th place, 4th age group, 15th place woman..... SHOOT!

Yes, you read that correctly. ONE hour THIRTY SIX minutes (THIRTY SIX! SQUEE!) And FORTY EFFING SECONDS!

And as we say, BOOM goes the DYNAMITE.

I probably need to say no more, but say more I will.

I threw all my crap, sans warm clothing into my car and left. And still arrived late. VERY late...

Just take a look at all that crap in my car before we move on....

I was excited to meet Danielle, as mentioned, because we only know each other on the internet (the internet is where I am cool. she is cool in person too!) She had a couple friends in tow who are insane and training for an Ironman. Hardcore shiz. Since we had approximately 30 seconds from the time I graced Newmarket with my presence to the race start we left the chatter for later and hit the ground running. (next time, I will attempt to be less of a late arriving jerk. I simply do not have my act fully together...)

OK y'all. You know the feelings that I've had for the GBH since last year. We don't have a warm, cuddly relationship. I pretty much got it in my head that the GBH sucks giant, hairy balls... Giant, hairy, smelly, SWEATY BALLS!!! Sure, I'm in good shape right now and felt like a PR was possible but maybe not so much on the side of the fricking mountain. UGH!

I started off at a much more brisk pace than in previous Half's but I have been working on that and it was part of the PLAN..
At mile 0.5 I passed the 8 minute mile pace group and knew I had it in the bag.
OHHHH! Let's all laugh about that now becasue at mile 0.5 I know that I have nothing in any bag, the bag is still empty. EMPTY! (but I did know that as long as they didn't pass me, a PR was a guarantee.)

So I ran the damn race.

And it was PERFECT. I zoned out and daydreamed for about 7 miles, no lie. At mile 7-ish it occured to me that I still felt excellent and could run faster. So, I did. And I passed the 7:30 pace group about 1.5 miles later. SNAP.

Around mile 11 or so I met Danielle coming the other way movin' right along with her hair looking annoyingly perfect (I need tips) we high fived and she yelled out words of encouragement, to which I responded with some sort of grunt or groan or non-word word. Talking and running at the same time- not a skill I have (or, my manners are just crap?)

I finished. (I could have kept going... hmmmm) I saw the clock and, like the cool, smooth, has shit together girl that I am BURST into tears like a complete tool. So there I am at the finish, on the grass, head on knees weeping like a silly little school girl..... I need to work on my fabulocity because that isn't cutting it!

All my newfound friends finished right in the 1:48 range which is just insanely fast. (I think they might have had a fight on the way home about who beat who and such...?) We ate pizza. Put on 1,000 layers. Drank a beer. Talked about how the internet rules our lives. It was fun.

And THAT was the story of how I KICKED GBH in the face and scored a 9 minute PR.


  1. Wow! Congratulations! You are ridiculously FAST!

  2. Oh My Gawd!!! I knew you could do it!! So proud of you!! I bet that beer tasted mighty fine.

  3. BOOM you are....Wait for it.......LEGENDARY!!!

  4. You are very fast! Wowzer!

  5. Fantastic race!! I knew you were going to own it!!

  6. NICE! You killed it! What a great race for you. You more than earned that beer and the pretty layers. ; )

  7. Nice job! You killed it! Nice to meet you too... (Even if you totally didn't acknowledge me on the out and back... ;) )

    1. Haha! Eric! I'm really not a snob :-) I'll be sure to give you legit high fives next time to make up for it....

  8. You are freaking amazing! Also, everything about this race recap made me smile and crack up ("SWEATY BALLS!" haha).

  9. i had about a zillion+four things to write about when i read this at work yesterday but i cant comment from work (dumb) and now i forgot what i wanted to write (more dumb). clearly it was along the lines of "you rock" "i hate you for being super fast" "were so good at drinking" "happy to be IRL friends now", etc etc etc.
    wooooo hooooooo for super speedy hill kicking halfs!

    1. Haha! still the best comment ever even though you forgot whatyou wanted to say! :-)

  10. Just found your blog today and wow, you are fast! I love that you claimed you had the race in the bag at .5 miles. At my marathon in January, I did the same at mile 2. Hehe, I laugh every time I think of it because I really did just like you did. Congrats on an awesome race!!!!

  11. There was no fighting... I beat everyone! Well, except you miss 1:36... :-P
    yeah, there was no waving on the out and back for me either... You /sure/ you're not a snob? :-)

    1. I think the truth has come out... I AM a snob, a complete JERK actually! Glad to hear that there was no fighting since you (clearly) were the winner (watch me stir the pot of discontent between you 3... proving once again what a jerk I am! :-))