Changes....

Remember that I indicated a week or two ago that things were changing here in my little corner of the world?
I am a firm believer that the interwebs are, perhaps, not the place in which to air ones personal and emotional dirty laundry. On the flip side of that, there are plenty of "us" out here who have faced some hardships, gotten thru them and been a better person on the other side.
I'm getting divorced... Mr Middleaged and I are no more.
This has been a while in coming, and while emotionally I'm a little rocky I think (on some level) (I hope) we both know this is for the best. I do.....
I thought we had done everything right, dating for years before living together, living together for years before getting engaged, long engagement- and the list goes on. However, in relationships (as well as in life) it is almost impossible to cover your bases carefully enough to safeguard against all the surprises that life can throw at you.
This winter has been a time of low lows, and dramatic realizations. Of intense self reflection and the discovery that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. Moments when I acutely realized that despite everything I still know who I am, what I want and am luckier than I ever thought possible- despite going thru one of the most difficult times that I can remember.
Moving forward from this I am astonished by the number of people who have come out of the woodwork with difficult relationship stories of their own, who are amazingly supportive and have given me the boost I need to make tough choices. On the surface some of these choices seem so glaringly obvious, but when you are living your own life you can so easily become blind to what you are used to..... Everyone comes to a time, in some part of their life when they have to take the hardest step that they can imagine. But once you take that step you get the perspective you need to continue down the right path for in life, which enables you to be (or become) the best, happiest "you" that you can be....
I'm now starting a time in which I can say "well, that was a first" words which have not crossed my lips in a long while. Some firsts are bitter, some are sweet. Every new first I have is a little step forward in my new life and a reminder of why I am ok with the conclusion of this chapter in my life....
I doubt that, despite the level of reflection in this post, that the overall tone of my blogging will change. I still am who I am (for better or worse) love what I love and still firmly believe that one can never pin their happiness on anything that has legs and can walk away. (and I still try to be funny at awkward times!)
So onward and upward from here, one day at a time, repeating my long run mantra "left foot, right foot, one step at a time....."