In which I fail at long runs, but win at life.

The time has come to discover the answer to the age old question... What is worse? Big hills? Chapped knees? Muddy roads? Or what? The winner of this diabolical question is all of the above... And just a bit more for good measure.

I was looking at my long run with a bit of trepidation as I have really been pushing it a bit lately and henceforth, feeling it in my knees, my shin, and especially my brain which was just tired! I took a day off after my muddy hilly dirt road 6 miler over the weekend (which, despite the sounds of things was a solid run! go figure...)

My plan for the infamous long run of torment was to bypass all the mountains, avoid the 30 MPH wind and 25 degree temps, and baby my poor little knees along on the treadmill (which hasn't been blessed with the presence of my feet in weeks!) Alas, it was not meant to be. Things got busy and before I knew it my driving to the gym time had been absorbed by what I like to call "answer impossible question time". This is the time of day when my clients ask me to solve their life problems for them. This presents something of a challenge for me as I am only well versed in a few subjects- but what the hell- I always give it a good shot.

So... Armed with the knowledge that I had another happy client who was more tech savvy thanks to my instruction off I went. Gusting winds in my face. Frozen ground under my feet. An attempt to maintain a positive mindset... in my brain? Yeah....

Things felt just fine until I got to mile 4 and then I discovered that I was freaking starving. Evidently, it was a lot later that I thought it was and was nearing my snack time. Which is one of the most important times of the day for me, thank you very much. You should not get between this girl and her food unless you want to have an epic battle in which I win, and then steal your candy! HA! So... I reached for my Clif block shit thing only to discover that in my haste to depart I had neglected to put on my vest which normally carries all my valuables: aka: FOOD. Damnit.

Things did not end well. We'll leave it at that. After 9 wimpy miles I crept back into my parents driveway completely worked over, sore, starving and really grouchy. What a complete shit show, I was irked by my complete lack of planning and general incompetence. Upon witnessing my dive into the dirty snowbank and hearing my agony my Dad did the only sensible thing.

He brought me a beer. Good thinking!

I am so delighted to see that despite my MANY layers of clothing that I still am roughly the size and shape of Justin Bieber. Why, WHY?!

Anyway. I survived. For the rest of the week pre race I am going to do the easiest runs imaginable and try to nurse my sore body parts back to good health. I think this is a good lesson to all: nothing- bad weather, sore muscles, idiocy- NOTHING- can resist the medicinal purposes of a good old fashioned beer. Cheers!

Mega Tangent Monday OR: Why people pay me for advice

In my last post I mentioned in passing my goals for my upcoming race and how I plan to achieve them (essentially, I have kicked the crap out of myself physically for the last month. well done me!)

This got me thinking about goals in general, how they can be useful and how people manage their own personal world domination. ....which in turn made me think about my job, where I get to yammer on quite extensively about all of this!....

It is my job to help my clients set and reach goals, boom! plain and simple. With the horses there is an extra challenge of having a 1500 pound four legged beast with the approximate maturity level of a preschooler on crack. There has to be a crap ton of flexibility in any "plan" where a horse is involved because they are fragile creatures who occasionally need a change of scenery or pace in order to stay fresh. Top priority, in a nutshell, is to maintain the happiness and soundness of our furry little problems. I mean friends, bless 'em.

Throw a few high maintenance, slightly eccentric equestrians into the mix and things start to get interesting! Add me to the equation and (believe it or not) logic and reason always prevail. Really!

I always have endless words of wisdom for my clients when it comes to goal setting. I have been doing this shiz for years!

It is good to have a BIG goal: "I have competitive aspirations! I wish to earn xyz award over the course of the next few years!"

Some smaller goals: "To earn this award I will need to compete in several recognized shows at two different levels and get x score."

Add in some personal goals: "I have lingering show nerves... I will take time for positive imaging before I ride, will schedule weekly lessons and practice in front of a crowd in my home environment to overcome my fear."

And a dose of reality: "I am going to need a lot of money/time to manage to reach my goal. However, it is important to me so I will commit to making this happen by cutting back on social outings/careless spending (booo!)"

Then think about what needs to be WORKED on to get to step one:

"I am not in good enough shape to ride my horse as well as I can. I will improve this by going to the gym three times a week."

"I have never ridden at the highest level that is required for the award I am aiming for. I understand that it will take at least another year before I/Horse am ready for this challenge."

You get the picture, and how this (honestly) directly relates to running goals as well! For me, because riding goals are almost second nature at this point I find myself taking my own advice when it comes to setting (foolish. unreasonable.) goals for my running. ...take the horse out of the picture and I only have my own silly legs/mental health/fitness/attitude to worry about. It is really so damn easy......

It is discouraging for me when people present goals that are not.... mature....

"I want to go out this year and kick so and so-s BUTT in the show ring!"

"I just want to win ribbons so I'm going to move down a level, even though it presents no challenge to me."

I imagine that this relates to the running world as well and is equally **ahem** productive. It is good to wish to come out on top, right? But at the end of the day meeting a personal goal is more important.

One seriously good thing about competitive running is that there is NO question of how you did, or why you finished up in 288th place. No mystery, no head shaking, no nothin'. It is also easy to have a look at your personal results and see improvement (or not...) It is the tricky thing with horses- you might go out and have your best go EVER- but if the judge does not agree you won't get your best score. And yeah... there are serious judging standards but at the end of the day it still boils down to personal preference. It's part of it and we all accept it for what it is and don't moan and wallow. We just drink a few extra beers...

So! In horses, running, or fabulocity in general there seems to me a common thread. In order to improve, reach goals and see progress one must work hard, smart and fair (in regards to horses.. oh and yourself, I suppose!) You need to know not only where you want to go but how you are going to get there, and what can help you to get there in the smartest, happiest and healthiest way possible. And you always, always, need to have a Plan B to fall back on if Plan A goes to hell in a handbasket. (these are good rules to live by. perhaps I'll write a book of inspiration! NOTTTTT.)

Anywhoo! I promise no more long preachy posts for a while. Honestly, I think that the setting of goals is an interesting topic and one that I deal with every day so I have a lot to say on the matter!

Next time: what is worse: big hills? chapped knees? spongy dirt roads? or something far worse!!

The Final Countdown. Version 2.0

One week until the Great Bay Half in Newmarket, NH. I have not looked at the forecast because it really doesn't matter to me- I will run in anything as long as I can get there! Let's all hope for some sunny warm non-snowy business though- I'd really appreciate it.

One of the perks of being in a Mainer... Ability to be the master of the weather... Or Not...

3 miles of this half is run on a dirt road. Excellent! A new way to add challenge to the already impossible mission of running an absurd distance. No big deal though, I have mud filled, squishy, rather icy and hilly dirt roads to practice on around here. My shoes are officially ready for retirement now...

I was mulling over the past month and how I have prepared for Half Marathon: Round Two. After Half Version One I identified a few issues that I had to address.
1: Lack of outdoor running left me ill prepared to deal with the reality of the roads. Amazing how 6 weeks indoors (even with hill challenge days thrown in) can leave you soft and traumatized by a frost heave. Humph.
2: By mile 8 I had shredded my hip flexor. Lack of terrain training played a big part in this, I am sure. Suspicious that the minimal hill work I had been doing weakened all important parts of my leg and it reflected in the H/F strain. I am hard core. I know that in order to improve, one must actually get on top of things and take responsibility for some serious ass kicking. I have to listen to people's confused feelings all the time about why they plateau for weeks, months, years and really, it is easy. You need to work, harder, better, smarter to improve at anything!! And you need to get the eff out there and work in horrible conditions, rain, muddy roads and big stupid hills so that they don't bother you on race day. This is what I have been shouting at myself lately and it is a solid train of thought for sure.

My goal is not to run a much better time in a week but to finish pain free. Or, with a different pain (OK to make errors, but not the same one twice!) I think with the hill work, long runs, dirt roads and extremely variable terrain that I am oh-so lucky to have around here I'm well prepared. I have felt less and less discomfort in my hip every run- even after 13.1 miles last Monday. (I was sore as s**t, don't get me wrong, but it was much better!)

Miraculously I have yet to throw a screaming fit about anything. Evidently I am a calm and zen like person, filled with remarkable inner poise and having no need of a taper tantrum. Perfection, people... Perfection...

So, we'll see how this week goes. Only a few more runs until I get to see if the hard work has paid off or if I should hang up my muddy shoes in disgust, in favor of a calmer lifestyle. We shall see..

Beach To Beacon, 2011

Last Tuesday I woke up (per the norm) had some coffee, fed the dog and 9 absolutely starving to death horses then made my way to check my email.

My eyes drifted to the calender... March 15th.... Why does that date sound important??!!

OH CRAP. It's the day to register for the friggin Beach To Beacon.

In something of a panic I checked the clock- 7:08- and dejectedly, I knew that I had blown it. Registration had opened at 7:00 and fills in the same way that I fill myself with candy. (a good comparison, honestly.)

I. Was. Pissed!

I did the sensible thing and threw my name into the lottery- for 5 bucks I would have a chance to get my name drawn, along with 1200 or so others out of the million or so people who were delayed in their registration reactions.

For the week that I waited to find out which way my fate tide would turn I mulled over the "whys" of this race. Why in the hell did I want to do it anyway. Case in point.

-It will be 10,000 degrees out
-There are legit elite runners at this little bash. those crazy Kenyans run a 4:28 mile and don't break a sweat. It is absolute madness!
-The town that B2B is in really can't handle it. It is a shit show.
-No parking. No escape once you have parked.
-You have to arrive 4 hours early due to said parking situation.
-No way to win my age group unless I can miraculously manage to cut a minute per mile off my 10K time. Run a 6:40 average 10K? I highly doubt it!

When I received confirmation in my email box yesterday that I was one of the lucky ones with my name on a bib I was positively ecstatic! Which proves once more that I have descended into the depths of running insanity. I am looking forward to B2B fervently, 6:40 MPM time of not!

Monday Morning Mountain Mini Marathon....

I was so hyped up about my hills yesterday that I completely forgot that I was the Featured Runner over at Run Courtney, Run! I am excited about this- go check it out!

In other news.... I mentioned a few days ago that I had planned my long run to be held on the treddy of terror in the climate controlled gym (haha) on a FLAT (or 1.5% incline) surface.
Well... My plans changed. I ended up running over the mountain of doom because I just didn't have the extra time to drive to my gym! I ran an abysmal first mile- if there had been a bail out button to transport me straight to a couch I would have hit it. Gladly! looking at my watch at mile 1 I was truly horrified (but not shocked- my legs, although not painful, felt like garbage) the time was 9:57!!! WHAT? When do I EVER run an almost 10 minute mile!

Luckily I did not call it a day at that point.....

I ended up running the first 5 miles in 44:28. Not great. Not too gross considering that I started out on the wrong foot. Or pair of feet.

I ran the second 5 miles in 41:45. Uphill. Boom.

Then... I threw in a 5K for good measure. In 27:32. (As I made the choice to do the final 3.1 I said "I'm going to shoot for 10 min per mile just to get extra time on the road- I shouldn't over do it!) I came close, and the last 3.1 were- AS USUAL- very hilly.

So... You run 10 miles then add in a 5K. What is the total?

13.1 suckahs. Take that stupid legs. In 1:53:05 which is nothing to cry about given the 67% incline that I was on for the whole freaking duration.

I came home and promptly threw my body in a snowbank because, as expected I had pushed the hip flexor to its limit (it did not hurt until mile 10-ish, and was much better that last week.) The snowbank was cold and unforgiving. Most unpleasant. I had some coffee milk which is much more palatable to me than any other kind of milk. I hate milk with a passion to be honest but am trying it, since it seems to so popular as the recovery drink for you hardcore runners! then I ate some cadbury eggs, some real eggs and some toast.

Then I got back to work.... Thank you Monday for being quiet enough to allow me to take 2 hours off!

I was thrilled at the end of the day to have almost zero discomfort in any part of my body. I don't know if I should thank my mad skillz, the snowbank or the coffee milk...