What were the highlights (or lowlights?) of my competitive racing season? And life? Read on....
While training was SERIOUS:
2017 started off with a BANG (to the head) which sent me straight to the ER. This set the tone for the whole year, to be real. Lots of time in the Dr's office (but not, thankfully, for my poor head!!)
I started Boston training in early January in by FAR the worst shape I had been in in ages. I was completely burned out from a very tough summer/fall marathon training plan, and was experiencing a lot of weird symptoms from what turned out to be my fibroid. Yucky.
February sent me off to the Mid Winter Classic, which I used as a long training run. While WELL off my 10 mile PR, I had a solid day of running (and probably my best winter/spring race.)
February was also a MESS in the weather department. And so was March. Just a boat load of snow, multiple feet at a time, and it just would not quit.
March had me shivering in 6 degree weather at the Hampton Half (FYI- as of this moment 6 sounds pretty fabulous. This Maine winter is COLD..)
Hampton was a much more difficult race than it should have been. At the time, I blamed the cold wind, but in later weeks began to question if I was as fit as I thought I was (spoiler: I was not.)
Late in March I ran the Eastern states 20. I wasn't feeling super, and had an adequate race but not one that was particularly confidence building given the flat nature of the course. I was keenly aware that I was fit enough to run distance, but not fit enough to run distance at a PR pace, or even close. I was hopeful to find my legs feeling more zippy after taper, and to be able to pull of an 8:30 pace at Boston.
April. Freezing. And then, the day before the Marathon, 90.
Yes, 90.
What a shit show.
Yeah, it was only 70-75 or so on race day but I had only trained in temps as warm as 40. I was barely fit enough to handle "goal" MP under ideal conditions, and the conditions were so far from ideal that it was offensive.
I finished with a solid personal worst, after having a truly miserable second half of the race. Luckily, I had gone out slowly enough to avoid being totally sick and dehydrated, but it was just a miserable awful time.
THE END.
A few weeks later, I ran Providence. More as a good way to visit my cousin in her new home, and to check another state off the marathon list than to get redemption. I'm not going to lie though, I was hoping to be able to have a race that I could feel good about.
UGH, and while it was better than Boston it was still a literal shit show, with something like 3 bathroom stops before the first half was over. What a mess.
The second half of the race was remarkably better, but I finished dehydrated and terribly sick for several hours. It was truly awful, and I was like "never again...."
And then I quit running.
Which is not entirely true. But close.
My fibroid had finally, officially, been diagnosed and with that a lot of (unnecessary) fear became a daily part of my life. My Doctor at the time was not blessed with the most pleasant bedside manner and when she said to me "it's unlikely that it is cancer, but you never know with a tumor that large. And if it is cancer, you only have a 5% chance of survival and I would not wish it upon my worst enemy..." When I heard that, a big part of my brain dedicated itself to attempting not to be completely and utterly terrified, which was exhausting. And sadly, this went on for months, until I got some much more conclusive and uplifting answers (Thank heavens......) I think that, when presented with potentially life changing information, getting more opinions, from imaging, testing, and doctors who are more used to such conditions, is CRITICAL. I have a wonderful new doctor, a solid plan, and confidence that I am completely healthy and simply carrying around a little creepy friend for my uterus. (Gross.) I feel very lucky. To say that I appreciate my day to day life more now is completely true, and I feel so fortunate to have a positive diagnosis.
So all summer. I dealt with my extremely anxious state of mind by taking up both trail running and cycling which I LOVE, WHO KNEW???
I wasn't feeling in any mood to train for anything specific, as everything felt really uncertain and up in the air to me.
But I sure as hell wasn't going to sit around and drive myself bonkers.
It was time to get moving!
This is where "part two" of 2017 begins. The part where, for the first time in a while I ran purely for enjoyment (and for a while, to keep my anxiety at bay...)
I "raced" two of the Bradbury mountain trail races, which were the most incredible experiences. I have not had so much fun in years. So much fun with friends trying to avoid falling and breaking bones!
Eric and I took to the trails of Bradbury almost every weekend. There is something about trail running that completely clears the mind- it's probably because one wrong step results in copious amounts of BLOOD!
I hate to be corny, but being out in the beautiful woods, in the complete quiet, looking at nature and running hard was better than any kind of meds.
We had trail adventures on the local mountains with friends and family. Where I was running, and who I was running with felt so much more enjoyable than simply trying to meet a mileage goal.
Biking was stupid fun too. I began cycling in early August and went out once or twice a week until it got too damn cold. It is not something that I want to do daily, (because my butt would hurt too much) but it was a great addition to the outdoor fun, and something that I will absolutely resume as soon as the snow melts. My confidence grew and my fear of getting left far, far behind the other cyclists in my group meant that I gained speed more quickly than I expected.
That being said. I am still far from as fast as Eric.
I had a few late summer races that were just "fun" Including a really great Beach To Beacon (usually my least favorite race.) Again, it was a day of enjoying the scenery, the company, and the pitcher of mimosas and plates of bacon we indulged in post race.
Starting in August, and continuing into Early November I seemed to be in a Doctors office, or an MRI machine, or dealing with medical stuff every other week. Pretty easy compared to what many people must cope with. A tough adjustment for me though, as I have never needed more than a yearly check up. I was basically living life without ever daring to plan more than 2 weeks ahead, which was strange but I became used to it. There was a lot of question about the speed of growth, and I was shuffled through a series of specialists, and off to imaging, and here and there, all to see if the beast needed to be removed ASAP.
On December 15th I had a consultation with my (very good) ob/gyn. Since the fibroid had not shown signs of growth since August, we decided to leave it alone for the time being and not even think about it again until May. She had also consulted with my radiologist, who had told her that he thought it looked like a "very normal" so, non cancerous tumor. Believe me. I feel lucky. Every day. My issues this year were upsetting and scary for me, but in the grand scheme of things, basically a series of little speed bumps and discomfort.
That being said, it is ok to feel bad when life throws you junk. I certainly came to realize that even "minor" medical issues are so incredibly costly, that I can see how people go completely broke dealing with them (and yes, I have insurance.) The medical system also moves at a truly glacial pace and the weeks of waiting were very stressful.
But. At the end of the day, all is well. And I am getting used to planning for a future that is longer than two weeks away yet again.
I celebrated my 38th birthday with Eric and my Sister, hiking in the snow and in the woods, searching for ice covered waterfalls, and drinking beer. It was a good day to spend charging up a mountain, as Eric and I had just lost our dog to a sudden illness...
Despite our sadness, it was a beautiful way to close out the year.
I would never change what I did with my recreational time this summer and fall, because I re-remembered why I like running. It is simple, I love playing outdoors and looking at things. We live in a beautiful world and being able to run around and enjoy it, how it looks and feels and smells, is a gift.
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