How to work out when you are deathly ill. (Don't. Just don't.)

Last week was quite a good week in the workout department despite the fact that long days and arctic temps kept me inside. I ran some good miles, had quality bike time and even managed an outdoor 7 miler on Saturday in some pretty adventurous conditions while on vacation. (note to self: next years vacation must not involve a location that can have snow. we had a wonderful time but seriously, sun and sand people.....)

Really really pretty. REALLY REALLY COLD!!!

Sunday morning came and I awoke not really feeling myself. Blaming several late nights while making the pilgrimage from Maine, to Boston to NYC and then NJ (and all the shenanigans we got up to at those various locations) I basically tried to write it off and get moving.

Around noon I realized that there was no denying it. I was getting sick and getting sick fast.
Mother effer came in like a wrecking ball....

On Monday, with a fever, terrible cough, horrible aches and chills I made a trip to urgent care to have a scrub brush shoved up my nose to see if I was ridden with Influenza and needed to hole up in my house, all quarantined.
The good news? No flu.
The bad news? It was (is) one nasty virus and it was having fun making me feel terrible.

Paging McDreamy... Where are you??

Needless to say, when I am prone on the couch and am voluntarily staying there I don't work out. Especially with a fever and a cough. Working out in that ill condition would just be idiotic. I really felt horrible. I actually continue to feel quite nasty although I am somewhat better. I have had to take "breathing breaks" on a regular basis which is retard-o to the maximum. I mean really, who needs breathing breaks?! (me, for realz.)

I see a lot of chatter on the interwebs this time of year about when you shouldn't work out when you are sick. My bottom line is you just know, if you feel too damn shitty to do it then don't. Nobody gets any prizes for being a fool and pushing thru a 101 fever just to get in 4 miles, or whatever...
Especially when it is cold as shit out. WTF?

Well isn't that nice....

Have I run when I wasn't at 100%? Heck yes.
I ran a relay last November post bronchitis. (read: POST bronchitis.) While I was still coughing a lot this did nothing to set me back. I was back to being a picture of good health within days after this.
I ran Boston while about 50% sick. It was my A race and I wasn't running a fever, or even coughing. Just snotting. I will say that I got quite sick after the race with more of a respiratory bug but that had more to do with the fact that I was directly exposed to said virus than the run. Which didn't help because huge efforts like that tend to make your immunity all wacky.
If I had a race to run over the past few days I would not, and could not have done it. Which is how I knew to be smart and take a few damn days off! It won't make any difference in the big fitness picture.
So kids, the moral of the story is to be smart not dumb. If you have a tiny sniffle or a hangnail get off your ass and run. If you have the bubonic plague you have my permission to sit tight until it has passed. And Dr. Sara signs off.....

How to train for a marathon like a boss!!!

You want to know how to train for a marathon like a BOSS do you??

Well, you have come to the right place then.

According to MDI (who clearly know ALL) since this is not my FIRST marathon then I AM AN EXPERT!!! (???)

Thank you guys, for recognizing my obvious prowess *ahem, ahem*

 

My training has been creative this time around.

Just getting back into a regular running schedule 5 or so weeks ago left little time for epic long runs of doom. I have squeezed in two successful 19 milers (good enough!!) but have concentrated on hills.

The only thing one hears about MDI is: "OMG the EFFING HILLS!!"

So, deciding that fast would not be a viable option this time around I'm just going for prepared.

 

Here are a couple of examples of my amazing hill running skills.

Or perhaps just fine examples of the hills in my town? Yes. that's more likely..

 

My 8 mile loop. FML.
 

15.5 Miles. OF PURE HELL! PURE HELL!!!!!!!

Sweet Baby Geezus!!!! Want to come run hills with me? It's fun, I promise (LIE! LIE!)
The good news for today is that with FIVE days left there will be very few mountains in my training plan for this week.
I'm getting a little excited. This is proof that my cheese has slid right off my cracker because no one in their right mind should be excited for an uphill marathon, right?
More suggestions for epic marathon training to come tomorrow!
(yes, I'm promising more than one post this week. which means that all posts will be terrible since my recent claim has been "quality over quantity") (or maybe I'm just a suck-o blogger?)

Maine Half Marathon: The official rainy race report.

 It has been a while since I've run a Half. If my old, faulty memory is correct my last Half was my simply amazing record-smashing PR setting run at Great Bay which was in April. Quite some time ago...

Back before I hurt my leg in May I signed up for the Maine Half knowing that:
a: I love this silly race
b: it would be a great final long run before I started to taper for MDI
c: if nothing else it would surely be nicer out than last year
(anybody remember last year? monsoon much?)

The plan changed somewhat over the months. Since my running skills had greatly diminished since my July Marathon (but yes, I am finally running on a well behaved leg) I knew that running slow-ish would be smart. I also chose to add some extra miles in to make it a more legit long run, since I have done very few for the past couple of months. Gotta tell my legs what's up if they're going to slog thru 26.2 in a couple weeks after all....

The best news was that Eric decided to jump on board for his first half since GBH too, and for his longest race since his Ironman insanity. Have I mentioned that he's crazy? Super crazy. He indicated that he might want to PR at the ME 1/2 and I eagerly leaped all over that news with obnoxious gusto and grand plans for world domination.

 

 

My shirt and very lucky looking number. I do love the shirts from this race!

We had a very excellent plan involving how to run this race and allow Eric to PR like the boss of the Half Marathon.

Well. It was something like this: "start slowly finish fast"

And it was all my doing. This was all my plan. I'm a jerk face who drags people to races and forces them to run faster/longer/harder then they want to.

 

Yes, I am available for coaching. Excellent coaching. Accepting new clients for SURE.  HAH.

 

Strike one of the day: Coffee was impossible to find. Apparently coffee shops don't open until very late on Sundays. Finally, at 6:40 we obtained coffee and bagels. This would have been excellent if I had not wished to start running at 7:00.

 

Strike two of the day: I forgot to pack my sports bra. OH SNAP. Thank you sweet baby Geezus for making me a barely A cup. They were still awfully bouncy and totally got chafed.

 

Strike three of the day: It rained. Son of a beech tree.

 

See? Rain.

I headed out at 7:00, 30 seconds post coffee and bagel consumption. It was no big deal. I felt great, and oddly, I'm not lying! I honestly was VERY excited to run, VERY excited to race and VERY excited to be awesome. (duh!) I ran 3 miles to the start and located Eric quickly enough to waylay my concerns that he was going to hide in the shrubs until the gun went off. This seemed like a very real possibility as he wasn't quite as over the top excited as I was (imagine that! maybe he has logic and reason?)

 

I ate a honey stinger waffle and drank a small cup of Gatorade. Nutrition excellence at its finest (again, no lie! this shit works for me. total middleaged endorsement of said products.)

 

Strike four of the day: The Garmin died a tragic death. DOOM!!!!

 

Despite yet another strike, the steadily worsening rain, a belly full of breakfast and my flapping boobs I was still annoyingly excited to be racing. Seriously, I'm such a tool sometimes!

 

The gun went off and we took off at a blistering and totally unreasonable pace. I mentioned this to my running buddy and he just continued on. I completely forgot that my job was to be a pacer and, instead, was delighted with this turn of events! DELIGHTED!!! I scampered merrily along literally beaming, singing and prancing along like running was the best thing EVER!!!

 

This all went very well until mile 10 when I heard these horrible words in my left ear "I'm really fading...."

I'm about to offer up a fine example of why I deserve to be nominated for the girlfriend of the year award. *sigh* (on a side note: even after this debacle Eric claims that he is not looking for a more supportive replacement... like I said, he is a lucky man...)

Here is what I said: "NO YOU ARE NOT!!!!" "WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MORE MILES!" "YOU CAN DO THIS WITHOUT THINKING" "AND YOU ARE AN EFFING IRONMAN!!!!" (so quit your whining.) See? I am a very kind, loving, caring woman. HAHA!!!

To my right there was a lady with a working Garmin who mentioned that we were cutting it close but could make it if we maintained our currant pace. "SO KEEP UP WITH HER!" she yelled menacingly to my ever more cross looking exclusive running partner.

We ran on. There was no stopping! And no walking! No quitting to be had!!! It poured harder and harder and I started to shiver which made me very crabby. The last mile was not so easy and according to my watch (the kind that tells time) we were going to miss the potential PR by a heartbreaking amount of time. Bottom line though, sometimes it's just not the day to PR. I know that better than anyone as I had to fight with my 5K PR for a YEAR before I finally kicked it in the teeth.

Our finishing time was still very, very respectable in 1:53:08. And Eric was not mad that I spent 20 minutes shouting at him (or that I encouraged the 6:37 minute pace at the start... whoops!!)

I was cold, cranky and shivering so I ran back home (total of 19 for the day) and leaped into a hot shower which was very painful on my freshly chaffed boobs. UGH! Ladies, NEVER forget your sports bra. I think forgetting your shorts and being forced to run in your knickers might be a better choice. Lesson learned, time to act my age and start making lists!

Recovery was done up right with friends, pizza and beers drank from glasses roughly the height of my entire leg. Yes please!!!

So a decent race, a few extra miles (which only hurt a little...) as I work towards MDI, challenges overcome, almost a PR, and most importantly beers consumed! (and no one was injured during or after the events which inspired this blog so perhaps that is the best news?)

The Aftermath...

Apparently in my world the aftermath of running a Marathon (plus hundreds, and hundreds of miles) on an injured leg is that some legit time off is needed. I haven't run in 9 days. And before I took those 9 consecutive days off I had only run 9 miles total, post marathon. So guess what? I'm ready to tear out my motherf****ng HAIR!!!!

I might have been downplaying the extent of the leg mayhem on here because I made the choice all on my own not to address it until post marathon. I'm ok with that, I met my Marathon goal like a boss and am now taking some time to heal and drive the whole world crazy with my excess energy and constant complaining. Would it have been better to take a few days off back in early June and avoid this chaos all together? Well, yes but as we all know hindsight is 20/20 and I never thought I'd end up spending so many weeks hurting...

The good news is that I'm feeling better. Like (dare I say?) 100% recovered. I'm champing at the bit to get back out there especially after doing the calculations today and realizing that my time before marathon #2 is growing ever smaller. *panics!!* I know my next wrong move will be trying to justify a long run this coming weekend. To be honest, I have already talked myself out of it multiple times today. For those of you reading who are preparing to forcefully restrain me just know that I'm not going to do it (and it's killing me...) But I'm going to ease back into running logically and save the 20 miler for Monday, haha!!! (I'm kidding!! kidding... mostly...)

In other good news, all this spare time gives me the ability to make some sweet, sweet arts and crafts. Lucky Eric and Andy, amazing Ironmen, and recipients of a sign that looks boss, or (if you don't understand our language) looks like it was made by a bunch of 5 year olds on crack. Your choice... Yes. those are unicorns barfing rainbows at the bottom of the poster. It goes without saying that this is what every Ironman wants to see.

THE. BEST. SIGN. EVER.

202 Miles. Big Pimpin'.

I ran 202 miles in June. UGH!!!!!!!!!

Highest mileage month ever, beating out May which was 194 and at that time was a HUGE month for me by many, many miles..

When I run that many miles I start getting perma-pain face as seen in following picture.

It seems that this is my perma expression while running, due to the fact that I am in a bit of pain, and am also a little tired. Luckily, my amazing outfit destracts from the agonized grimace upon my face.

Luckily as well, I don't look like that in real life. I am afflicted with IRL permagrin, so there...!

Perma Pain. OUCH.
But I'm flying, holy crap!

Officially counting down (in terror) to the marathon on the 27th.
I have one more long run this coming weekend and then I start backing off on the mileage.
If I was not so cool, hip, amazing and big pimpin I would be scared shitless. Luckily I am all those things so I'm relaxed, calm. collected and dismissive. HAH! LIES!

I'm running a 4 mile race on the 4th with a great group of people who can plan to eat my dust :-)
I kid, I kid! Sort of... Hoping to lay the smack down and set a course PR for myself. We shall see!

Pre- Pineland 25k Problems

Very excited for the Pineland 25K Trail Race of insanity/doom this coming Sunday.
Excited crossed with dread, at the very real possibility that I might fall down and render myself incapacitated.
My goals for this race are simple:
1- Show up on time for a change
2- Finish with all limbs intact
3- Maybe run faster than a 27 minute mile. Maybe not as trail running sounds borderline impossible.
4- To bring weather appropriate attire so that I do not have to steal another persons clothing. AHEM.

This week, post epic 52 mile week last week has been ok. Seems that summer has arrived with vengance and adjusting to the warmth and 90% (no lie) humidity always takes a few days. And those few days haven't quite happened yet...
I was running innocently enough on Thursday night when I took the stupidest step and rolled my ankle right over and toppled head first into oncoming traffic I mean a ditch. I said the F word several times and felt justified doing so.

After running 9 more miles post ankle twist I tried this first

And resorted to this... BLAH!

The good news is that all that damn ice must have done something good. In the dead of the night my ankle made a little creepy "POP" and felt much better. It was weird, icky and a relief all at the same time.
So. Onto an epic weekend. Injury free perhaps? Filled with all things Big Pimpin, clearly.

In which I give props to the legs...

Dear Legs, There is no doubt about it. I abuse the ever loving bejeebus out of you. I force you to run me around all day at my freakishly active job and then I force you to actually run some more. I cuss you out, calling you short, stumpy and slow. I wonder why you are not longer or faster and I then I call you a pair of slacking off jerks... I dress you terribly and do not care for you as I should.  I question how it is that you work so hard and to my (clearly unrealistic) brain are still so damn out of shape. Legs, I am sorry for being such a raving asshat to you. I vow to smarten up.

Left ankle, you have been very sore and sad this week. I am sorry about that and will give you a lot of love and attention if you get better on the super speedy. I will placate you with bags of frozen peas, green compression socks, advil, kisses, whatever you want pretty much....

Anyway legs. Thanks for getting me around. Running would be a real challenge without you!

See what I do to them? At least there are nice compression socks involved...
My knees look creepy.

The ice bath of a true Mainer.
See legs, I DO take care of you. NOT...

If I were my legs (hang on. what?) I would refuse to work until given far better attire.
This is just absurd!

My 80/20 Rule

As I mentioned in my last post I really hurt my ankle/foot back on October 3rd. DUH ME.

I saw no reason to bore you all with my daily whinings of a minor, although painful injury so I have been MIA. Also, I was busy wrapping up my equine competitive season in a bang up way. Kicking ass and taking names, very proud of the way that my boys finished up the year! (or, technically started next year. it is now 2012 in the Dressage world.)

...I digress....

I was hurting to the point where walking was questionable from the 3rd to the 14th or so, and advil was my every 4 hour friend. It was not the most comfortable time and I was prone to small fits of yelling at my foot and hollering "creak creak" randomly. (although it wasn't that random- my foot was literally creaking. whatevah..)

I think a good rule of thumb is that if 100% of your day is spent in foot pain one should not run. Especially when the application of one's running shoes makes one scream and writhe in agony.

Slowly, the pain started to decrease to a 50/50 ratio- still with a hearty dose or several of advil a day. Finally, on Monday I was able to spend a FULL day advil free and felt that my pain was finally down to the magic number- 80% painless 20% slight discomfort.

Well hot damn! Time to run a marathon! PR in a 10K! GO NUTSSSSS!

In reality! On Wednesday I hit the road for a little "run" and made it exactly six tenths of a mile in fairly bad pain. Crap! When I pulled off my shoes I was all better though, no lingering side effects (odd.) On Friday I tried running in my "old old" shoes and it was a bit better- I made it thru an awkward, and walk break riddled 1.5 miles- again with no ill effects. Today I threw on the "old" shoes and found that they were somewhat better than the "new" shoes so gave them a try. I made it thru a slow 3 miles- but only needed to walk for pain reduction during the first mile. I ran the last 2 miles at a slow and steady pace with very little ouch factor.

Which is good news if I do say so myself...

I still have not needed to pop any pills since Monday. And for that, my liver thanks me.

Hopefully I am over the hump and can get back down to the business of running less like an invalid and more like a middleaged woman!

Belated Race Recap, Komen race 9/11

I missed this race last year for two reasons. One, I was injured and homestly lame as lame could be. I thought I might go and walk the damn thing then the shit hit the fan. My Grandmother passed the day before (9/11/10)... We all knew it was a matter of days but it was a dark day, regardless.

Onward to the 2011. Not only did I want to make up for the fact that I had to bail due to being 8 legged lame but it was a great race to run to honor the memory of my Grandma, and sadly, two other close frineds who lost their cancer battles in 2010. Suck-O. This felt like an important race to me (combine that with the obvious fact that it was the 10 year mark of 9/11 and there were all KINDS of emotions running thru my little head. Shoot!)

It was a nice day. I had been running a good amount. In the back of my head I thought probably too much, as it is a known and proven fact that these old legs can only run a decent 5K after having at least a week off. Logic and reason at its finest? Regardless of the logic it is indeed a proven fact.

Annoyingly, I did not have time to pick up my race number the day before (sorry, Portland is a bit of a drive from where I live) so I had to arrive horribly early and then kick tires, pace around and get VERY bored and just a touch crabby. The race had a super late start- 10:00- which was good for not having to get up at the AC of D BUT not so awesome for the "waiting around for all damn day."

Finally things got going. I started off a little fast due to my desire to just GET GOING but then I settled into a more reasonable pace. Had a bit of trouble getting enough air- my allergies were really the worst I have felt in years (yuck.) There was no clock or people who helpfully shout your time at you during any part of the course so I felt a bit lost, and as though I was running blind. However, I felt like I was keeping up a very respectable pace and actually felt confident that this could have PR potential! (at this point, I can accurately guess my mile per minute speed within a second or two as a general rule. Or NOT, as we will soon see...)

Coming into the final stretch I had just enough gas in the tank for a little push so off I went, until I caught a glimpse of the clock. It read, shockingly, "23:18" and I still had a few hundred feet to go. I was BAFFLED and seriously came almost to a full halt in my horror! Disgusted, I steadily ran under the clock in an abysmal 23:30 (give or take a second or two- I was excluded from the final results due to some chaos at the finish. I could have called them and asked to have it fixed, but I didn't want to admit to a final time of 23:30. GRRRRRR)

Honestly, I was unimpressed. To feel that I ran well and FAST and to come in 30 seconds slower than my PR and 15 seconds slower than my average pace for a 5K very irratating. I was prepared (for a change) well fed (but not TOO well fed!) and feel at this point that I can tell how fast I'm running... GUESS NOT!

OH WELL. In the big picture who gives a crap, right? I ran for a great cause, enjoyed a nice day, got some excercise, and had some snacks at the end.

THE END.

Why I am Gross! Or: Disgusting habits part two

Thanks for joining in the fun, lurkers of the past and followers of the NOW!
So, 51 followers FORTY NINE TO GO until the big one hundred. Perhaps that will happen in my lifetime?

Thanks to Aging Novice Runner you may all sit back and enjoy one of my infamous gory over sharing epics.


Todays tale is a non running one... But gory enough, I believe.

One of the biggest things that plagues we equestrians (other than the fact that owning a horse costs more than having a gaggle of small, private school attending children) is the constant battle against the saddle sore. Yes my friends, saddle sores. Perhaps they sound innocent enough, like you get a widdie bittie pinch from your saddle that you ignore and barely even notice? That kind of saddle sore is amateurish stuff and simply not in the realm of the horror that I know all too well.

You know it's coming. You made a bad choice and wore your too warm breeches on a 90 degree day, or made the heinous decision to throw on a pair of seamey cotton knickers to ride 4 horses in. In the rain. In a too-big saddle, or in a pair of overly large riding pants. Regardless of your original thought process by the time you dismount from your noble steed your butt cheek feels rubbed raw and blisterlike. Upon further investigation you discover that is exactly what happened and, as luck would have it, you still have 4 horses to ride.

We're not too shy, as equestrians, about talking about, showing off and taking photos of our worst war wounds. When I reminisce about some of my more sorry times one story comes to mind.

I was smack in the middle of day one of a 5 day show and was having one of those moments. I was in the saddle for much longer than I had planned much to my rear ends dismay, and since I was expecting to ride multiple times a day for the duration of the show I had saved up all of my finest non-chafing knickers for the occasion. But was one pair short... (so clearly the "occasion was NOT day one) It was 85 humid degrees of pouring rain to add insult to injury and no lie- the vast majority of my butt skin was peeled right off. Imagine.... A snake loosing its skin? But weeping. Bleeding. Thinking about pustulating.

This was bad news.

I was far past the point of being able to "prevent" this madness with a touch of powder or anti-monkey-butt paste. Oh, no- there was no turning back from the brink of horror.

I stayed awake most of that night desperately uncomfortable as I could not lie on my back and every time I rolled over my butt skin screamed "NOOOO, lie still you IDIOT!" It was not the greatest of times.

The next day I went into "save the breeches" mode. I'm not lying when I tell you that a saddle sore is a weepy mess. The damn thing will weep its way thru your undergarments, thru your (white, $200) riding pants, and right onto your saddle causing onlookers to back away as though you have a flesh eating disease. I put on my sturdiest and most non chafing set of drawers and went about the business of trying to sit on a few horses. Ohhhh, they were good times let ME TELL YOU.

Sure enough, at the end of the day there was.... weep?.... everywhere. I had a good look at the stash of knickers that I had brought and discovered that the ones I had already worn were the ONLY ones that would cover the offending area. Offffff course...

Have I mentioned before that underwear is exempt from my "get 3-4 uses out of before washing" rule? Yes I have, as recycling the undies is the ultimate nastiness due to the fact that butt sweat is dirty sweat. But what choice did I have? I had a whole bum full of half dollar sized bleeding, pussing, weeping in fricking AGONY sores and there was nothing else to do.

So. For 4 days I rocked the same pair of white underarmour compression shorts. In my defense , at the end of the day I would try to wash the worst of it out in the hotel sink with a little bar of soap. I'm quite sure that did a tremendous amount of good.... (and this is why.... the Huz is unlikely to ever tag along to a horse show.)

The whole fiasco really rubbed me the wrong way (SNAP I am funny, you laughed, admit it!) It was weeks- no lie- before my skin grew back and even more weeks before I wanted to see a pair of underarmour compression shorts.

Hello Race Report! Great Bay Half, in the Oh-Eleven...

Race report time! (pictures to come.... later...)

Good old New Hampshire... I seem to have darkened the doors of our neighboring State several times this winter all in the name of running insanity. This time for the Great Bay Half which was held in Newmarket, more or less on the water.

The weather was remarkably and unusually good. This left me feeling confused about what to wear and how to operate as I have not run in temps much above 32 for the past couple weeks. The high temp at the race was a blistering 55 degrees and despite the stupid wind felt quite balmy. Perhaps I am exaggerating slightly but compared to sub arctic mid 50's feels downright tropical.

I felt good! An extra weather related day off seemed to be just what I needed to get rid of the dreaded and unnecessary knee pain. I ate food, drank purple gatorade, donned odd layers including sunscreen and was ready to go!

There were lots of people there plus many cute puppies. Cute puppies = happiness and warm fuzzies in my heart.

The whole shebang got off to a smooth start despite the fact that there was a 5K running at the same time and that can make things frenetic. It was not bad though and I set what felt like a decent pace for what my legs and I had in mind. I overtook the 8:30 pace group before mile 2 which surprised me as I didn't see them at the last 1/2 until mile 11. I felt fine about this since my goal was to maintain about an 8:20-8:30 pace throughout. Evidently, I have an excellent inner Garmin as I don't actually have any way to measure my pace other than in my head. I am a real woman of genius apparently and seem to be fairly competent at pacing myself. (I am a real woman of genius in many other areas too, don't want to short change myself.)

Anywhoo. It was great to be running on a warm day! With friends (ummm, strangers but who is paying attention!) In a tank top after mile 3! All these exclamations do justice to how I felt. Just fine.

There was a rather troublesome stretch of dirt road. Not overly troublesome because of its surface but due to some never ending potholes which required some dodging and leaping. I had more or less fallen into pace with a good number of runners at that point and we all stuck together more or less, for a couple miles. It was hard to tell how fast the "real" runners were running because the 5K start had fuddled things up. Regardless, I certainly wasn't expecting to be in the top group of runners so I stuck to my arduous pace happily.

I missed the memo that this was a hilly course. I think the "Cool Running" blurb on the race casually said that over the past couple years they have designed a course with "10% fewer hills." 10% fewer than 100%? That's what it felt like. Have I mentioned that I train the hell out of the hills in my own town? Yes I have... BUT STILL. It wasn't that the hills were long it was they they were friggin relentless and JUST. KEPT. COMING. I was planning to pick up the pace a bit after mile 7 but the hell if I could what with the hills knocking me on my ass at every turn. I wasn't so much tired... As I was tired of seeing more hills. It was really pissing me off, to be completely honest. The other thing that was really grinding my gears was that for whatever reason the Shot Blok stupid things were NOT sitting well. Again, what the hell? I practice eating those little weirdo's all the time so shiz like that does not happen. It wasn't the best, and hiccupping slightly while I run kind of messes with my nice breathing rhythm.

Despite my trials and tribulations I soldiered bravely on, passing people here and there and feeling small twinges of victory.

Here is what I was thinking around mile 8-9ish.

THE GOOD-I'm at mile 8-9ish. Almost done? Almost done...
-NO PAIN!
-What a nice day
-Not feeling tired

THE BAD-I'm only at mile 8-9ish. WTF??
-Shot bloks feel like lead weights in stomach. bleech.
-Number is swooshing annoyingly. swoosh, crinkle, swoosh, crinkle. GRRR!
-Chafing under right arm. Must have a flabby bit there.

At mile 11 we came to the "out and back" part of the course (another thing that makes me cross. seeing who is ahead of me!) The front runners had indeed set a blistering pace- quite impressive. I don't feel like having to run that hard for 13 miles though, thanxxx.

Mile 12 was a sight for sore eyes, sore feet, multiple chaffed areas and an ever growing more uppity belly. At that point I was still pain free (as in, hip flexor and knees! yayyy!) and I knew I could make it. I had one more bizarre moment when my allergies got the best of me and I sneezed. I don't know if it was because I was running into a very strong wind, because I was slightly breathless or WHAT but the sneezed backfired and seriously chocked me. Yes, bizarre. No crap, I could not get a single breath of air in and was imagining a horrifying situation that involved me, the paramedics and some sort of tube stuck in my neck to give me air. Luckily, my imagination was far worse than reality as I quickly regained my breathing capabilities and got on with it. Not before several people managed to pass me...

I ran into town, thru the finish and saw that I snuck in just under 1:46. Found the Huz and tried to walk off the unpleasantness in mah belly. To no avail. I should have given up and lost my shot bloks on my shoes but I sucked it up and held back on the projectile vomming. I definitely felt dehydrated (stupid warm weather!) but for the life of me could not force anything down. I spent a couple hours curled up in some sort of sick, fetal position going "ewwwwww. ewwwwww. I hate myself" and things of that nature. eventually I was able to straighten up, gulp some gatorade and get back to life... In an attempt to fix me, as lack of food was certainly was playing a part in my lightheadedness we went over to Redhook. Our waitress said that she was seeing an awful lot of green hued runners who were announcing the probability of imminently loosing their lunches. I was quite pleased that I was not alone in my struggle... I suppose I could have won myself one of those coveted pukie awards if I had just hurled immediately upon crossing the finish line- I'll have to take that into consideration for my next race!

So, despite feeling green around the gills after the race I felt good about how everything went. It is better to hit the wall immediately upon finishing then to bonk at mile 6 (a good way to look at it?) I was super pleased with my time of 1:45:40, and to finish 215th- out of about 1200. I was 9th in my age group and the 47th placed woman.

So! I met my goal of shaving a bit of time off my last Half, not feeling the same pains and finishing strong. Now I have to figure out how to finish well and not feel like junk!

I'm Breaking!! Yikes!

Hey-OH!
Wow, you guys are good friends! Thanks so much for the sympathy and advice regarding my warty little feets. The sad part? They are plantar warts so are literally all up inside my foot! They will need to have the skin cut from them with a scalpel and then will have to be frozen. I have had this done before, can you tell? MOST unpleasant...

Did my last run today. 3 lousy miles.... It was ok, I seem to be having a minor physical breakdown but who cares, right?

Issues:
-Warts
-Left hip hurts
-Back feels funny
-Right armpit hurts due to horse throwing me around while I was trying to give him medicine...
-Have not run 13.1 miles ever
-Left hamstring hurts
-Very old

I might break this weekend. Or curl up and cry after running 0.13 miles... EGADS!
I'll try to do a lsat minute recap tomorrow... AHHH!

I'm less funny when I'm not mad.

This week. Better than last week... That's not saying much since my grand total mileage clocked in at a big fat ZERO.

My back felt better on Monday but my legs were really acting up. I was starting to hit the hysteria pretty hard thinking that I had a pinched nerve, some kinda of freaky defered pain, or a bizzare medical mystery. So I went for a run. Obviously.

Seemed to solve the problem completely. So I started to wonder, after banging around running 25+ miles a week for the past month then stopping completely if my legs had a funny reaction to that? I bet if I looked around I'd find a technical name for it. "crampy achy legs due to inactivity?" Or something of the sort. Tell me internet friends, TELL ME!

My week has looked like this:
Monday: 30 minutes- 0000.1 mile
Wednesday 40 minutes- Oh- point- six miles
Thursday 50 minutes. Maybe broke a mile

Well my stars, if that isn't marathon training then I just don't know what is!!

10 days and counting to the HALF MARATHON. I still have not run 13.1 miles, as the back of doom thwarted not one but TWO important long runs. Oh well, to hell with the plan. The plan can shove it as far as I'm concerned at this point. I have my eyes on doing about 90 or so minutes this weekend as my long run and then calling it good enough.

I am SO happy to be able to run again this week that I'm actually able to look at the big picture- I feel like doing th 1/2 is still an ok option, I will NOT kill myself to get "all" the mileage in beforehand and I seriously doubt that the world will end if I sneak in under the finish line in over 2 hours. I'll just be happy to be there, and to be able to run pain free. YAY!

Time off tantrums

I just ran, suckers...

We'll see how that decision ends up treating this old lady! However, nothing about the run hurt and I was going stark raving mad times a million.

The thoughts running thru my head before just doing it: (doing it, and doing it, and doing it well......)
-I will never run again because I have forgotten how.
-I expect that I have a faulty spine. That's why my back feels funny.
-My legs no longer feel like they are attached to my body. WHY! (PANICS)
-No way will I ever be able to do .13 miles, much less 13.........
-I have gained 1.2 million pounds for sure and lost 100% of my muscles!!
-I hate everyone. EVERYONE.

It came to me that perhaps my legs felt odd because I had not run in a week. They do indeed feel better now and much more awake! And no lie, I had no issue other than I had absoultely forgotten how to run. I did a VERY easy 3 miles, it took about 11 hours to complete but why overdo it like an idiot douchebag on my first day back.

Good luck to me on feeling 100% ASAP. At the very least I am no longer as crabby, and realise that I might have been getting a touch emotional (and plan to go right back there STAT should things start circling the drain....)

Head! Desk!

AH-HAH. HAHAHAHA. HAAAAAAhhhhhhhh............
Yes. That's about where it's at right now kiddos...

SNOWING. Again.

My back? A screaming DISASTER!

I did see my Chiro yesterday, bless his good natured heart.

I laid upon his Chiro table of torture and doom and he said to me "So, you mentioned that one of your legs felt longer? Which one??"

"THE RIGHT ONE" I said, in ominous tones.

"You're RIGHT!!!" He declared, in an absurdly cheery manner.... Damn that man....

There was MUCH that was wrong with me. Tipped pelvis. Crooked sacrum. One million vertebra out of whack. A neck that was on totally wrong. Oh, and that pesky little thing of my right leg being "alarmingly" longer than my left leg. No wonder that I felt like a HOT MESS!

I feel even worse today, as if my muscles and tendons are trying in desperation to being my spine back to its ill alignment to no avail. I am not impressed....

We'll see what tomorrow brings (and yes, it will bring snow- awesome-o!) Hopefully, in addition it will bring a happier feeling hip/back so that I can consider running a couple miles soon.

Half Marathon: 15 days and counting. DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Hard choices....

I hate having to be smart....

I have an astonishing track record of ignoring whatever injury I might have and powering thru like a tough guy (like a tough guy who makes bad choices.)

Cases in point:
-You already know about my shin splint. Might not have had to take 6 weeks off if I had taken a week off to start with...

-When I broke my shoulder I was supposed to keep it in a sling for 8 weeks. That lasted very well for 2.5 weeks (I was 15... gimme a break!)

-Broke the tailbone. Rode 3 horses in a big competition the next day, one who moved like a jackhammer. Tears ran down my face the whole time but I still won a pile of prizes, damnit!

-I won a major championship while I had whooping cough. I threw up off the side of my horse when I was done cos I was coughing so hard. Awesome!

Needless to say my ability to woman up has gotten me far in life and I am used to making the choice to just "get on with it."

As I mentioned sometime last week I really tweaked my back and hip while heaving water buckets around or shoveling snow. It has become a nagging and rather relentless annoyance over the past few days and I've been agonizing over what I should and should not do. Obviously, the one thing that is bothering me the very most (stall mucking, water bucket lugging) I just can not avoid.

I have made the VERY tough choice to take a few more days off from running- I really have to see how this plays out and NOT put myself at risk for any more damage. Back trouble makes me very nervous- I HAVE to ride because it is my job and it is horrendous riding with a bad back. It is also horrendous not running but I think that for now it is the most prudent decision.

I'm hoping to snag an appointment with my Chiro for later in the week to see if that helps and then go from there. I am going to try to stay calm, stretch and remember that running is my HOBBY that can be put on hold for a few days for the greater good of my bod....

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

My Epic Fail List. YAY!

The top 10-ish things running things that were complete and utter failures in 2010.
Or, at least moments when I shouted "WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING??!! WHY!!??"

.......In no particular order.............
That training log of mine has to come up again. I type up the most ridiculous stream of consciousness thoughts post run. Like these absurd statements:
-GAHD!!!! Sometimes I try to be fast and I'm so slow that I want to cut off both my feet and throw them down the bulkhead. It was hot but that's no excuse for my epic suckage.
Or this:
-This run was pure and horrible torment. I heaved thru the first MILE AND A HALF like a 300 pound walrus before my legs woke up. And even then, they felt like lead weights on the bottom of my body. At the 0.7 mile mark I wished for a bench to sit upon and to drink a beer.
**sigh** Regardless, I did it. I had a lot of excuses in my head as to why I sucked- "I am tired" "I hate my pink shorts" "I have been up since 4:30 for the past 2 days" Blah, blah, blah.

-The shin splint of Doom. That was really crappy, painful and I was disgusted by the way it stopped me altogether and messed up my plans. GRR.

-The number of times that I had to change my plans for racing (due to the shin splint) was a bummer, but I tried to roll with the punches. I was so looking forward to my first 10K in October but I was still on the DL up until the day before the race date. Too bad, but goals were made to be changed!

-My first couple of races were a challenge, not knowing how to eat or drink properly so as not to throw up. And of course, learning to pace myself and calm my competitive spirit was tedious!

-The thought that I could crack the 21 minute mark in a 5K. Seems much more challenging in reality than it does on paper. It's pretty darn hard to shave off seconds, let alone minutes in such a short race. (unless you start off running a 5K in over 30 minutes- then improving one's time significantly is more realistic!)

-All the persnickety weather conditions. Part of life, I know! But the summer was brutally hot and desperately humid and so far the winter has been frigid, windy and snowy. WAAAA, WAAAA, WAAAA.

-Trying to beat Abs. FAIL! I did once by pure chance and blind luck. Never again... She'd best be watching her back in 2011 cos I'll be gunning for her!!

-And finally:
Trying to maintain a look of demure ladylike fashion while running in all conditions.
Ha. HA HA. Yeah, that works well for me. NOT!

I'm hoping that some of my bloggy friends post top 10-ish lists too. It will be funny/sad to see everyone else's ups and downs from the past year.

No such thing as TGIF.... and other nonsense....

Most people look forward to the weekend, TGIF and all that jazz.
Me? I work like a fricking maniac on the weekends (and most days of the week too, because why be relaxing, seeing the Huz, eating, playing with the yellow dog when you can WORK!)
When Monday rolls around I'm typically quite relieved, especially now that school is back in session. During the summers my days are more typical- insanity rules Mon-Fri and then my weekends are a tad more laid back. As in, I might be coaching (or running a race, GO MEE) or spending 27 hours each day picking up the mess that the week has left behind and preparing for the mess that the next week is going to bring! This time of year brings madness on the weekends to the point where I don't have time to stop to eat (tragic) find my extra warm mittens (the horror!) or to go pee (not so awesome dudes.)

I had zero plans to run this weekend since I had zero time and was on my feet from the ass crack of dawn to the dead of night every day. After my death march of a run that you all heard about in my last blog I wasn't pleased- but managed a much improved 4 miles the next day.

Then?? My ankle started killing me. Which directly irritated my SHIN. What WHAT?? I had to reflect for a bit on my shenanigans and what I possibly could have done to myself that I had blocked out, forgotten, or just not noticed. My suspicion is that I must have given it a good twist when I fell in a hole.. Yes, I fell in a hole- so what? It could happen to anyone. Stop laughing. Yesterday I barely noticed it anymore but still could feel a twinge so I took all the doggies for a few miles of walking exercise, stretched that sucker out and crossed my fingers to get back in the running shoes today.

One thing I've learned this year: If something hurts in an abnormal way stay the EFF OFF IT for a few days (not taking into consideration the 1.2 million miles of moving around I do while working. That doesn't count.) I think it's better to miss 1 extra day then six weeks, DUH!

Counting down to the 10K on January 1st. Trying not to feel pressure/impending doom/flabby and unfit. In my epic "training plan" I listed "not getting sick or hurt" tops of the list as far as being prepared goes. Hopefully disaster has been averted.

Bad legs! Bad!

I imagine that we've all had those days....
The sun is shining, the rain washed away all the pesky snow, the stars are aligned perfectly for what you expect to be the best run ever!!! Then you get out there and suck, sucksucksuck. BOOOO!

An actual conversation that I had with my legs yesterday:
Me- HELLO? Anybody home down there? Because it feels like I'm running on concrete blocks, not legs.
Legs- Eff you dude.
Me- Seriously? After all I've done for you? You can woman up and get me around this 4.5 mile loop without such drama.
Legs- Nope... Don't think so. Maybe you can drop me off at the corner and I'll get a ride home.

That was the story of my day yesterday. Coming off 3 of the most stressful work days that I've had possibly ever things weren't working quite the way they should. I was so exhausted that I considered skipping my run altogether and sitting on my Mom's couch eating toast and whining. Alas, this was not an option as my Mom is not interested in my 31 year old whining (WHY?? MAN!!!)

In the long run, the run of torment helped me to feel better (which I knew going into it) and I then had a more productive afternoon than I had expected. (well. I knew it was going to be busy regardless- I just enjoyed it more.)

It's interesting to me that I notice body issues related to stress so much while running. I have been an athlete for years and have always been able to power thru any situation- broken tailbones, cracked ribs, busted noses, torn muscles, days of sleeplessness (weeks actually- I had whooping cough 3 years ago and after 3 weeks of being deathly ill I figures that I had been sleeping less than 1 hour per night. niiiiiice.) I have been able to overcome many obstacles and have rarely paid them any mind so you all can imagine my surprise that 3 days of work stress is so noticeable when I hit the road for a silly little run. Humph.

The good news? Things are looking up in the work department, the weather is going to be acceptable thru the weekend and I have a huge loaf of english muffin bread to eat for the next couple days. That alone is enough to make me feel like superwoman!

One step forward.....

Oh Maaaaaaaannnnnn. You think you're getting ahead again after a million years and THEN....

I headed out for my first "run" on Monday after being freed from the DL. (finally!) I was extremely pleased with how I did (although per DR's orders I took several walk breaks and did NOT run down the huge hill at mach 10.) I felt really good, and ran like a gazelle or similar bandy legged creature (haha. at 5'1" that is unlikely.)

I awoke the next day with one of those disgusting, pustulating, all consuming head/chest colds that make it near impossible to live, let alone run. Can't breathe thru my nose because apparently it is filled with concrete. Can't breathe thru my mouth because that triggers a fit of coughing up lung chunks.

Well, isn't THIS annoying!!

After staying up allll night last night trying to find some place in my body that would allow oxygen to enter I'm not feeling that I have recovered quite yet. This is ridonkulous, and I am suspicious that some running God has it out for me and wants to keep me off the streets.

Not gonna happen running God. I'm getting back out there the second that vile Floridian Cold leaves my system!