Thursday, September 29, 2011


Math: I hate you. Barely made it thru Algebra for Dummies in Highschool, for serious!

However. To figure out how badly I'm gonna PW at the upcoming Maine Half I took out my calculator for some addition. I did not wish to have to take off my shoes to use my toes, ya know?

Al-righty oh. My PR for a half is what? 1:45:48? Or is it 1:48:45? I plan to look into this. This was back in the day when I trained for such activities, was in lethally good shape and could keep up a brutal pace for hours at a time. I might have thrown up afterwards but what's a little Vom between friends??

This time: Blissfully unaware, unprepared, woefully out of shape, sadly slow.

The plan. Walk the whole damn thing. Oh wait a sec, the marathoner will finish before I do. No thanks.

The REAL plan: Run a few miles super slow. Walk a mile. Run a few miles super slow. Sit down, Cry. Walk a mile. Run a mile? Take a nap.

Where the calculator comes into play: Say I manage to run my miles at 9:15 (fair guess) and walk a mile in what? 16-17 minutes? How the hell long does it take to walk a mile?? Anyway this is how it might play out-

Run 4 miles (I can do it!!)- That will take about 37 minutes. I'm cutting myself some slack here because there is bound to be start line congestion.

Walk a mile- 16 minutes.

Run 3 miles (maybe...) 28ish minutes

Walk a mile- 4 hours (or 16 minutes) (we're at mile 9!)

Run 2 miles- 19 minutes cos I suck

Walk a mile- 17 minutes cos I suck more (are we at mile 12?)

Run the final 1.1 in a huge burst of speed!!! or in 10 minutes because who am I kidding??

That has me finishing in 2:20 which seems VERY optimistic. I think I may have missed an entire mile in there somewhere, maybe mile 0-1 which I always forget about (don't laugh.) Feel free to check my math...

I think I'll shoot for 2:30. That gives me 45 extra minutes which I don't think is enough!

We shall see....

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Belated Race Recap, Komen race 9/11

I missed this race last year for two reasons. One, I was injured and homestly lame as lame could be. I thought I might go and walk the damn thing then the shit hit the fan. My Grandmother passed the day before (9/11/10)... We all knew it was a matter of days but it was a dark day, regardless.

Onward to the 2011. Not only did I want to make up for the fact that I had to bail due to being 8 legged lame but it was a great race to run to honor the memory of my Grandma, and sadly, two other close frineds who lost their cancer battles in 2010. Suck-O. This felt like an important race to me (combine that with the obvious fact that it was the 10 year mark of 9/11 and there were all KINDS of emotions running thru my little head. Shoot!)

It was a nice day. I had been running a good amount. In the back of my head I thought probably too much, as it is a known and proven fact that these old legs can only run a decent 5K after having at least a week off. Logic and reason at its finest? Regardless of the logic it is indeed a proven fact.

Annoyingly, I did not have time to pick up my race number the day before (sorry, Portland is a bit of a drive from where I live) so I had to arrive horribly early and then kick tires, pace around and get VERY bored and just a touch crabby. The race had a super late start- 10:00- which was good for not having to get up at the AC of D BUT not so awesome for the "waiting around for all damn day."

Finally things got going. I started off a little fast due to my desire to just GET GOING but then I settled into a more reasonable pace. Had a bit of trouble getting enough air- my allergies were really the worst I have felt in years (yuck.) There was no clock or people who helpfully shout your time at you during any part of the course so I felt a bit lost, and as though I was running blind. However, I felt like I was keeping up a very respectable pace and actually felt confident that this could have PR potential! (at this point, I can accurately guess my mile per minute speed within a second or two as a general rule. Or NOT, as we will soon see...)

Coming into the final stretch I had just enough gas in the tank for a little push so off I went, until I caught a glimpse of the clock. It read, shockingly, "23:18" and I still had a few hundred feet to go. I was BAFFLED and seriously came almost to a full halt in my horror! Disgusted, I steadily ran under the clock in an abysmal 23:30 (give or take a second or two- I was excluded from the final results due to some chaos at the finish. I could have called them and asked to have it fixed, but I didn't want to admit to a final time of 23:30. GRRRRRR)

Honestly, I was unimpressed. To feel that I ran well and FAST and to come in 30 seconds slower than my PR and 15 seconds slower than my average pace for a 5K very irratating. I was prepared (for a change) well fed (but not TOO well fed!) and feel at this point that I can tell how fast I'm running... GUESS NOT!

OH WELL. In the big picture who gives a crap, right? I ran for a great cause, enjoyed a nice day, got some excercise, and had some snacks at the end.


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Oh HELLO. The story of the shocking email.

I had a wonderful plan, back in oh- May, June or perhaps even a bit earlier than that.

I would finish up my equine competitive season (which was freaking amazing, more on that later) transition to bigger and better miles on the road and run a Half a few weeks later. With that in mind I signed up all nice and early for a Half on October 22. GO ME. Way to plan ahead.

Over the weekend I was having a nice mental chat with myself. It went a little something like this:

Me- Looking good me! I haven't been able to put in a ton of mileage due to the "horse show situation" but I have had a few good weeks of legit running. Some hills, some 7 milers and a little 5K (more on that later.)

Phone- "jingle jingle" indicating email.

Me: Moseys towards phone, still congratulating myself on my fabulocity, fashion sense and wisdom. "I'll get in a few runs early this week to break myslef back in (and NOT to break myself, mind you) do 10-11 miles over the weekend, try for another 10-11 in CT over the weekend of the 15th (horse show) then I should be fine to finish a little slow, but respectably well for someone of my advanced years. (and yes, when I chat to myslef in my head I do indeed speak in run on sentances.)


Me: Looks at email. Sees race email. Takes no notice and moves on. forward to later that day........

Reads email: The race is coming up! (me, smugly: YEAH in a few WEEKS!") Packet pick up on SATURDAY OCTOBER 1st.

ME: WTF??? wtf? W....T....F....


The race is this Sunday. How did this happen? Here are the choices:

1- I am an idiot

2- In my head "After the competitive season" meant AFTER the show mid October. Evidently, back in the early Spring I was probably just thinking post-Regionals. I dunno!

3- Really, it is very easy to mix up the 2nd with the 22nd. Right?


I ate some bacon. Freaked out for one minute. Said eff it.
See you all at the Maine Half this weekend. More on my plan for Epic world domination in the upcoming days.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Things I learn Along the way...

Things that I learn along the way.. Part. Two? Three? Twelve? Who knows!

1: Last summer I discovered that I simply did not have time to run as much as I wished to. I felt guilty about this, overdid it when I had time and hurt myself badly enough to have to take about 5 weeks off. I remembered all of this (because I am so wise) and tried hard not to repeat the chaos this year. So far, success.

2: Life comes in this order:
a: Work
b: Work
c: other things, like family stuff and the thing I like to call running
d: blogging (don't know how y'all manage to do it daily or even weekly!)

3: Every run does not have to be epic. It does not have to be hill work, speed work, a 10 miler, or even need to feel very good (and believe me, it doesn't.) NEXT year I will remember these words of wisdom!

4: Apparently I can still run a 23:14 5K with no practice. Maybe I just WON'T practice!

5: However. If one wishes to PR in a 10K or if one has a Half on the brain then practice is advisable (so sad.)

6.a: If the run actually feels good keep running in the manner of Forrest Gump. What could happen!? (see words of wis #1...)

6.b: Hmm. So this year I can spontaniously bust out some decent mileage and feel fine. I wonder if it has to do with all the miles I put in last winter and muscle memory? It is like that with horses- once they lay down a base of muscle structure they can get back to hard work quickly after some down time. Well, much faster then when you bring them into good condition the first time around at any rate. Is it like this with people? Who the hell knows...

There are my words of wisdom.
The End.